Finding Joy Through the Power of your Body

North Node.

Peace in the Pause is inspired by one of my teachers who shared with me the first time about a holy pause. So I grew up very hot tempered and would react before I have an opportunity to think or really respond.And so Peace in the pause, I started saying, was that peace? Finding that peaceful moment to know the most compassionate way to respond to something rather than reacting to it. Yeah.And over this last year, I've really been like, okay, let me take a moment, let me step back, let me. And I'm not saying that I'm perfect. And it happens every single time. Even just this week, I had her in real time. Oh my gosh.Reaction to something that was happening that I really worked hard on it. It was launching Peace in the Pause and I got all upset with myself and just went back to some old thoughts that weren't serving me.See, I can't do it. I'm not enough. All of these things. And it's. Wait, that's not true. It was just a hiccup. It was just a broken link. Let's go back and fix it.And then it's fine, right? Everything is fine. Everything is fine. And so me learning a couple years ago from someone as well as peace is the ultimate goal of joy.And knowing that, okay, I was staying brave in my pursuit of joy and what did that really look like? What did that feel like and where.That just came to me one day when I was doing my podcast with Jen and then I was like, oh, staying brave in your pursuit of joy, Meaning no matter what is happening, you can find joy in the moment.

Hi, I'm Paige Nolan.

Welcome to. I'll meet you there.

A place where heart centered conversations are everything. Living what matters is the truest thing, and sharing the journey is the best.

Hi everyone, and welcome back. My guest today has a mission. She wants you to stay brave in the pursuit of your joy. She believes that peace is the ultimate goal of joy.My friend Alicia Ace Easter meets us here with her story of living a life today that she never could have.

Imagined when she was younger.

A life of peace, joy and contribution beyond any dream she had for herself.Ace is the founder of Ace Enterprises, a wellness brand based in Los Angeles that includes retreats, workshops, breathwork, meditation, life coaching and reiki healing, as well as branding and marketing services for individuals and teams in the business world. Ace is passionate about helping people embody joy through health, wellness, nutrition, yoga and education.She comes to her offerings honestly through her own heartbreaks. A life defining one being the loss of her mother, who died of pancreatic cancer when Ace was 19 years old.You will hear us talk about how Ace moved through that grief and how it shaped her as a person. We talk about how Ace has made her way through all sorts of transformation on her own at first, and then very much with the help of others.She's moved from insecurity to confidence, from shame to self worth, from surviving and doing what needs to be done, to thriving and trusting the power of spiritual guidance and the peace that comes from just being.We also talk about Ace's latest adventure, Ace Yoga for Kids, and the important lessons she's learned from teaching children and how she lives those lessons as an adult. This was a treat for me.I've known about Ace as a yoga teacher and podcaster for years, but it's only been recently that I've gotten to know her better personally.We're both a part of a women's membership community called Let It Break, where I facilitate groups and I'm always delighted to share space and learn with Ace. And in this episode, you will get to do that too. Please enjoy my conversation with Alicia. Ace Easter.

I would like to start with the early little Ace, because I know where we're heading in this conversation, and we're heading to celebrating Joy, hearing about your path, defining your own voice, hearing about what you're up to now, what you're most passionate about, how you're serving now, what you're really called, how you're called to serve these days.So knowing that we're heading there, my instinct is to go back into this part of your earlier life and find out a little bit more about where you started in your relationship to Joy, to your sense of self, finding your voice. How did that start when you were younger?

Great question. I guess I just never really. I never really thought other than just to be when I was little. Right. As most little kids are. And I remember when.I don't know. I remember vividly when we moved from Baltimore to Atlanta. I was in fifth grade. Yeah.And it was such a culture shock for me because I moved from a black city, a black part of town where there was one white family on our street, to a completely different education system as well.Being in talented and gifted classes in it in Baltimore, which it was just I was excelling moving to Atlanta in the midst of being at home with my mom, my brother and my mom's husband. It was. We moved to Atlanta because he'd gotten a job transfer and it was so different. Moved to the suburbs of Atlanta.And granted, I Was really glad we did. And later on. But of course, when you're younger, you're like, where am I? All of my friends are not here.My cousins, my aunts, everybody's back home in Baltimore. But what. I don't know. I think that what's coming up for me right now is something that I had to overcome later in life.What I got to overcome later in life, which lends leads me to the work that I'm doing now. What sparked it all and all these sort of things was healing very early, keeping secrets very young. Yeah.And not understanding that the secrets that I was having to keep were not protecting really anyone, but it was protecting the abuser that was happening. Right. It was my stepfather who was physically abusive to all of us. Yeah.And growing up in that environment, even before we moved to Atlanta, and then moving to Atlanta and feeling even more isolated from my family, from my. From what I was used to, from my cousins, it. I didn't realize how much an effect it had on me as a young girl. And then telling.Then being in the school system where I was no longer in talented and gifted classes, it. I wasn't even tested for. It wasn't even a conversation that came up.And so also, again, like I said, moving from a very black city to a very white existence and not even ever thinking about that, never even thinking about race, any of those things, until I was put into a situation where I had to think about it and I didn't have to. And it wasn't like my mom had this conversation with us. It was.I had to think about it because of my peers and the people that I was surrounded by and the activities that I really enjoyed doing were not what other black girls were doing, at least, and playing softball, running, all of these sort of things that. And I don't know why. I just have always been how I am right now, just really happy. But then also I looked or I thought I was really happy.But it's interesting because I look the other day I stumbled upon this team picture from my software team, the athletics or whatever. And I was not smiling. And I looked at it and I said, oh, I was really sad. And I wonder why. I wonder why that may. I was not smiling.And I thought about how I took pictures recently when I was in Tulum in November. And I was very intentional with the photographer that I wanted to have a level of softness and.And reflect peace and all of these sort of things with the photos that. That's gonna be different than my other pictures that I Take that. I'm usually smiling really big and all things that is also reflective of peace too.But my smile over time, I don't know where the shift happened, where my smile became a defense and a diffuser rather than something that I truly felt, which was actual joy. And I was really intentional with that with him.And I look back at the pictures now and I see some of them where I'm not smiling, but it is a grave sense of peace that's over me. It's very different than this young version of me where I wasn't smiling because I was genuinely sad.And I've probably gotten into a fight with my mom before, my brother or whoever. Right. Sure. It was just a tough. It was also a lot of love and a lot of exposure, but. And a lot of exposure to different things.But also exposure to different things that I probably shouldn't have seen, probably shouldn't have been experiencing.

Yes.

In so many other ways as well. And I don't know. I guess I've never really talked about it in depth this way. Yeah, it's. I don't know. I just. I don't know.I've always just been me and this person that has just done our best to really see not, I guess not even really think. I guess I can honestly say I just never really thought about it.I just never thought about anything other than just surviving is one word that comes up for me.

Yes.

Safe is another word that comes up for me. And then I just think that just maybe having fun as well. So I just never thought about anything other than that.And so I don't know if that answers your question or go from.

But yeah, I think it's interesting because often I find the most joyful people, especially joyful leaders. And I consider you a leader in our community. It comes from a consciousness around joy. It doesn't come from this blind. I was joyful all the time.It comes from understanding the full spectrum of emotion. And I think that's the depth of joy has to do with being saddled right next to things that are hard and things that are difficult and loss.And you have faced all of that in your life. And so maybe that I'm meeting you as an adult and I've met you through the personal development world and yoga and we've been in groups together.And your joy is so authentic and whole and pure and contagious. And so I know that comes from the full spectrum of emotion and of course it's opposite.And facing loss at a young age and now what You've shared with us facing this early marker of having to change environments.

And that makes sense to me too,.

As a young child to put a.

Smile on, especially as a female.

It's, oh, she's happy, she's fine. So she's going to go ahead and be the giver and make friends and perform.I know you're an achiever, so I'm sure you got to performing in school and doing all the good things.

It's. And it's just you even sharing it right now makes me emotional.

Yeah.

Because I think that there has been a grave sense of inner child healing.

Yeah.

That has happened for me over the last. I would say probably even just two weeks, but really just some deep healing that's come from really accepting this calling and accepting that. Yes.And all the facets of who I am. I'm enough. And then having, like today I wrote it on a thread. I was like, life is really fun. And it's. I just was like, life is really fun.And that was it. Because I think that there's no part of me.

Yeah.

That when I look at that picture, we're just getting started and I'm like,.

Okay, we're in it.

It's good. When I look at that picture of me when I was. I think it was in fifth or sixth grade. Yeah. I look at that picture and I was so sad.And there's no aspect of that young version of myself that saw me here.

Yes.

Where I am and the work that I'm getting to do and the joy that comes like that is just. That just exudes out of me. And I don't try and I just am. And I think that also what comes with this, too, is like, peace in that.Which we'll get into later. Peace in just the pure acceptance of where I am and knowing that whatever I'm meant to be doing, whatever I'm meant to be doing, I'm doing now.And whatever I choose to. Whatever I choose has already been chosen for me to do. So trust that it will align and trust that it will work out.Because like I said, when I look back at the. That picture, there's no. I just. I couldn't see. That's why it was, like, hard for me to ask that. Answer that question. Not hard.Kind of like, I don't really know. I don't really remember. I think I've just been going and appreciating everything along the way, but then also terrified by a potential outcome where.Yeah. That never actually happened either. So. Yeah. When.

When you Adjusted to this new environment or as you were adjusting, did you have a relationship or a friend or an ally who helped you access joy in those earlier years, as you were. Yeah. So that wasn't the way in.

No, it was just like, I don't. I just have to really sit with. Because I think the joy outlet for me was playing sports. It was playing sports.That was really what made me really happy and was a place for me to go to feel like just, okay, I'm contributing to something, to be a part of something.And my mom really kept us busy when we were younger, so in extracurricular activities, sports, anything like that, to just make sure we just stayed the course. Right? Yeah. And so that I would say wholeheartedly, no one person growing up was a mentor or a guide or. Hey, there was. I went to.I was a part of youth group at church, and my youth group. Pastor Doug and I were close, and Doug and Debbie, and they were both our youth. They were our youth group leaders. And we were close for sure.And it was just. That's the. That's who I think about now. And then also, as I got older and as.And after my mom passed away, it was my best friend's parents, my best friend growing up, her family and I became really close. Her dad and I became really close, and her mom and I as well. And so I think that, yeah, that's just who comes to mind for me. But not a peer to peer.

It's interesting to me because I often associate joy with embodiment.And so to hear you talk about accessing joy through the body and playing together and through an activity like sports, which can transcend racial tension like art can and music can. It's one of those places that people can really come together from different walks of life.And I think that's interesting also, knowing your background of finding yoga through the body, because I appreciate happiness also in its own right. But joy is that embodiment of that it all belongs. And that joy can sit right next to pain and still feel both.And that's because if you're in your body, they'd all you have access to it. But when we're up in our mind, we fight.

Yep. It's so real. It's so real. And joy to me is. I used to say, okay, I just want to be happy. I just want to be happy. And put on.I was like, put on a brave face and be happy. And I did for a really long time until I was like, okay, something's gotta give. Something's gotta break. And it's not gonna be me.

Yeah.

Or it is gonna be me if I keep continuing down this road. Yeah. And so having. And so then I said, okay, so Joy, I'm going to choose it. Stay brave.

Yeah.

I'm gonna choose it. I'm gonna choose joy. Women at once. Yeah. And okay, so that is joy and feeling this peace being the ultimate goal of joy and being peace and who.Peaceful with who I am. Peace in my divine feminine, Peace in every. In just the full embodiment of who I am. And yeah.

So talk to us about this journey in your young adult life. You found yoga. That's how I've got to know you in la. That's how I knew your work first before we were in group together.

That's so cool. I can't remember now, but that's so cool.I was traveling for work at the time and anywhere that I would go would be a city most likely I'd never been to before. So I didn't know anybody there. And so I would join a gym or. And then I think I was on assignment. I think I know for sure.I was on assignment in Chicago and I took a yoga class there and I just stepped out of it and. Or in the midst of the class, I. It was like I am sweating. It's. It was a hot yoga class. I was like, this is awesome. But also I'm crying.What is happening? Yeah. And that was the beginning of my journey, my physical healing journey.

Right.

Not even getting into the insides just yet, but physical healing journey with regards to. I was running all the time. And so if there was any sort of pain in my body, I used yoga as a supplement to that.But then I also started to learn about grief, living in the body and trauma and all these sort of things that I just name it. I'd experienced it. Right. And at that point.And so having yoga be something that I knew I wanted more of and I wanted to share with people who may have experienced life, had life experiences like me or. And look like me, and maybe didn't even know what yoga was or think that it wasn't for them. I wanted to share it with them.And so I kept traveling for another. In total, I did that job for about six years.And then when I finally landed in la, I and got settled here in la, got a job where I was not working weekends anymore. And okay, so it's not. Now it's time for me to start my yoga teacher journey, which was 10 years after I took my first yoga Class, Right. Okay. I knew.I knew that it would be the right time and the right situation. And then lastly, I really ran out of excuses as to why I couldn't do it or why it wasn't the right time.And so then I went through yoga, my yoga teacher training, and it just rocked my world. It was something that I learned about with the voice, with the body, with the chakras, bones, the history, just everything.And I was like, wow, I've never paid so much intentional attention to my body before. I just went, put it aside, and I was just. It's just a thing that I've got to deal with, a thing that is okay. I'm not even thinking about.It was also something that I gave. And I talk. I've talked about this recently, where I gave of myself often to people, to other people, whether they were worthy or not.It was like, okay, so my whole meaning, my whole being in the only way I matter is if I'm desired sexually or is or if not even just, like, physically, but just. It was a really way of looking at my purpose. And honestly, me not even knowing what my purpose was, not even knowing what I was meant to be doing.I was just, like, following along to get along, to have some sort of meaning, some sort of connection, fill holes, right.

Behold.

So.

And the comfort kind of leads you in that direction. If you're unconscious of it, it's what you fall into is validation as a woman. Being desired, being beautiful, being sexually attractive or whatever.Fill in the blanks. So it sounds like that's an invitation for you.And I think we are invited all the time, throughout our whole life to continue to ask that question about purpose and how do we feel and what feels good to us, as it's not like you're socialized to do that early on, right?

No, I. I definitely was not having these conversations about purpose and meaning with my mom. I was just.I mean, she was just doing her best to survive and doing whatever she needed to do to ensure that we were fed and healthy and taken care of and supported and with all of our activities at school, at home, whatever it took. And so I think that there has been.When that journey started with yoga and knowing that I'm going to teach this and I'm really excited about teaching it, I had no idea it was going to turn into what it has become today.But I knew that for me, the way I operate, it was like, okay, I'm going to school and going to college and I'm going to graduate and I'm going to get a job and I'm going to. And after I get this job, I'm going to just keep going because I don't have the luxury of not. I don't know what let me take a break is. Let me heal.Let me talk about grief. Let me actually grieve the death of my mother.But even recently, over the last nine months, I would say or six months rather understanding that I had been grieving her in a way, but not in a way that I thought grief would look like. So that's a whole different world of acceptance and forgiveness that I needed to have for myself.And so yoga has just been something that has saved me and I say it saved my life and it helped me to start to physically grieve the death of my mother and then also accepting my body in its fullness and completeness without it being this over. Over sexualized. Just. Yeah.

Or something that you completely ignore altogether a non issue. And I relate to that.I always think that life or God universe, whatever you call it, gave me twins because if I would have had one baby, it would have been like no big deal. It was. Twins were like the first thing that stopped me in my tracks where I was like, oh, I have a body. Just didn't even. No thought of it.

No.

No reverence for it either. And no ability to stop and say this is what I need to do right now. I need to rest or I need to eat or I don't feel good.It just was just plow through. So that makes sense to me.And then I also appreciate that you brought forward this idea of yoga and grief because I've recently read that's actually there's a scientific link now that yoga is one of the ways that people are finding relief from grief.And that idea of the just the space of your mat and being returned to the breath on your mat, they're really correlating that with a sense of healing and mindfulness.

Of course they are.

I know that research has been out for a while, but I really. It was profound to read it associated specifically with grief and then hear you say that.

Yeah, it's really you.I guess a lot of what I love again so much is the conversation of grief happening and having these spaces to where grief is explained and held and you're seen and it's okay if it's confusing or you don't know. Yeah. Even when I started my yoga journey, I still was going on the same shit that I was on before I started yoga. That.Okay, I'm Gonna go to yoga class, 60 minutes, and then that's gonna fix it. It's almost like that thing where you go to church on Sundays, and then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, you're a complete asshole.But then on Sundays, it's okay. Like, Sunday, I need to get my act together. I need to get my act together. I'm here. But that was the same thing that I was doing with yoga.And again, there's nothing wrong with going out and celebrating and having a good time, but for me, it was masking grief. It was, let's go party. Let's go drink too much. Let's go hang out way too late.Hang out with people who don't care about themselves, and so they damn sure don't care about you. So let's just go and do that. But if I go to a yoga class today, then that'll just fix all my ills.But no one was holding my hand in the process of me unpacking all of what was happening to me at the same time.

Yes. And when did you realize, through the course of discovering yoga, that you would teach it? Tell us about that.Rising up into finding your own voice in that way and where you are along that path.

I. I think that immediately what I. When I took my first class, I knew I wanted to share this. I said, okay, I need to share this. This is important for me to do.And also, I really looked around and there was no black people in the room. Yeah, that was. I was like, where is people that look like me? And I was like, okay, this is interesting.And then thereafter, I knew that, okay, I want to teach this. But like I said, after I took those first couple classes, it took me almost 10 years to say yes to the okay, you've run out of excuses.You're no longer traveling for work. You no longer have a job where you work weekends. Okay. You got a steady job, and it's okay. They have payment plans available.They have an option for you to make it accessible for you to do this. So what are our excuses? We've run out of them.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, so that's what happened.And I knew that I'm also a type of person that, like I said, I went to college, I'm going to get a return on my investment, because I feel like that might be some. Some sort of survivalist mentality where if I'm going to invest my time and my money into this, I'm going to get something out of it.So I'm going to create in the marketing mind My marketing brain is, okay, we're going to create a brand, we're going to create a logo, and we're going to create all these sorts of things that I'm not seeing a lot of teachers do, or even if they are, okay, there's. I'm going to add to it, right?And I want to be able to help people along the way if they want to create a brand for themselves, which is really interesting. How this is. That's. You just. I just don't even know Paige.I don't even know these ideas and where they come from, but they're planted in me, in this way of living in this life has just shown me that my entire existence has been thought about, prayed over, and orchestrated so that I can show up wherever I need to show up and for whoever I need to show up for. The only time it doesn't work out is when I get in the way of what is. And then coming to that realization and thinking about, like, why is.Oh, I'm not at a moment, or this week, I was like, I didn't think I was going to be where I am right now. And I had this moment. I was like, wait, what do you mean? What do you mean?As I sit here and have this conversation with you, it's helping me to reflect back and think, yeah, When I have conversations with people who's getting ready to send their kids off to college, I'm like, oh, they're going to have this familiar support, right. If they can't figure out something, they're going to be able to call mom and dad or Grandma and Grandma, Grandma and Grandpa or Aunt and Uncle.They're going to be. They have a village surrounding them, right? And like, I did up to a certain point, and then my mom died, and then I had a little bit of a village.But then also, I was resistant to everything. I was like, I'm just going to figure it out on my own and do it on my own and navigate this whole life by myself.And because that's just the best way for it to be. And that's the only way it's going to be because Mom's not here anymore and no one cares.

Yes.

No, you're not alone.And the fact that I'm growing this relationship with my angels and my spirit guides and ancestors and recognizing that every single thing, because I. I did. I had this spot in 2016, and it wasn't like I grew up doing marketing. I was even afraid to do sales. And then I got a job at Auburn.Like, When I was in college, calling alumni and asking to donate sales. Yeah. And doing generals, and I was like, oh, I can actually do this. Yeah. But it wasn't modeled to me. Right. It wasn't reflective to me.And I didn't know. But I also know that my mom, deep down inside had an entrepreneurial spirit about her, too. And so I got it from her. But I just think back. I didn't.I just had thoughts and then I would just keep going.And so it only makes sense that somebody had my back literally guiding me along the way so I didn't end up strung out somewhere, which could have also made perfect sense if people heard the full totality of my story. But that wasn't what I was supposed to be. And that wasn't the life that I was supposed to be living. No.

And I also want to reflect back to you.

I think you have such a strong.

Sense of choice, of choosing that wasn't your intention, even when you were broken, even when you were unsure or insecure or not supported.

Yeah.

I think you've always within you, or at least what I'm hearing you say. It's like this rising up of one foot in front of the other.

We're gonna go do that. Yeah. That's all. That's all we know. That's all we know. And that's all I knew. I was like, okay, I'm going to just. I don't know nothing else to do.I don't know anything else do. All I know is that I'm going to go to college, I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to get a job.All I know is I'm going to keep a job until I get another job and then I'm going to get another job. And then I don't know. Yeah.

And then I think that yoga also is such an expanding as. As far as a healing experience. It's like that one breath expands inside of you and it's. What else is possible if I can hold this pose?What else is possible if I can stay on my mat for.

Yeah.

Nine minutes.

Yeah.

I'm wondering, as I hear about your. You deciding. You knew you were going to share it. What was it like when you first started teaching and how have you changed as a teacher?Because you went right into holding space for other people even as you were discovering your own self and your own ability to lead at the same time.

God, it was like I remember doing a community class that we had. We invited. It was just us teaching amongst. Amongst ourselves. Yeah. And Then we would practice, teach amongst ourselves, amongst our teacher training.And I was terrified of doing five poses. I was like, I don't know them. I'm scared I'm going to mess it up. And I was like. And I had a moment. I was like, we're all in here.None of us know what we're doing. So.So just because somebody has known, has rehearsed it and practiced it and seemingly have it all together and know everything perfectly, they're still trying to figure out, too, because none of us have done this before. And I remember, I was terrified. And then I remember teaching, just getting my friends together. Okay, can we go through these poses? Can I take you?And I was very regimented in my teaching. I was like, hey, it's got. Write everything down. Do this and do that, do this. Because I want it to be right and I want it to not get it wrong. And. Oh.It wasn't a lot of compassion that I had for myself. It wasn't a lot of forgiveness and grace that I had for myself when I first started teaching.Now Fast forward to 10 years, and this month, literally, I am like, it is. It's so cool. And I'm just.I think back, I was just teaching to friends, whoever would let me, whenever they would let me, I would teach him wherever, at any studio, any gallery, anything. Yeah, whoever would let me come and bring yoga. I was saying yes. And then now being.Finding my own voice, finding my own way of teaching, finding my own way of guiding, finding my own way of leading and my own true joy in it all has been so beautiful, too, for me to be able to witness for myself.But my favorite thing is, when it comes to teaching, is witnessing the newness and the brightness and the compassion that people have for themselves in class. And like you said, can I be on my mat for 59 minutes?If you're standing on one leg, even if it's just not even just, but even in a tree pose, and your foot, your other foot isn't even that high off the ground, you're balancing on one leg. Right? That's not easy. And so that means you're. What else are you balancing throughout your life that you're not giving yourself credit for?That's not easy. And I remember early on, people would say, oh, I've never done yoga. I can't do yoga. I'm not good at it.And I would ask them, I would get to know them a little bit and found out you're running households, you're rearing children, managing companies, you Are caretaking parents doing all these things that are extremely reflective of the yoga journey? You're just not doing asana poses. Right. Right. You are holding space for people, and you are definitely doing things with care and love.And you might be putting yourself on the back burner subconsciously because no one has ever had a conversation with you about the consciousness of self.

Yeah.

And that's what yoga invites. But you're doing yoga.

Yes. And in that. In that teaching, in that reflection to them, were you learning that as well?Were you learning to acknowledge your own ability to get through the hard stuff?

Yeah, absolutely. I was learning that. Oh, I was able to get through so many things throughout my life. So many rejections that was just like, is it rejection?And then you learn later that it's redirection.

Yes.

But again, you're just learning at the end of the day, just making it up as you go. Especially if you have a model. Yeah. Of one who.And then you find models of people and then you make sure to stay to humanize them and continue humanizing them. Yes. And so you're not, again, pedestaling or anything like that.Even if it's with really good intention, you still just want to make sure that you aren't doing that. But honestly, it was. You're just figuring it out as you go.And I think that is the thing that I'm learning most right now, especially as I'm getting ready to turn 43, is nobody has it figured out, that's for sure. Just do whatever you want. That's not going to hurt you or other people. But honestly, you want to tomorrow go be a zookeeper, have added sister.And then also, if you want to do things that might not make sense to anyone else. And I say this as someone who has not had parents in a really long time. In over 23 years, I have not had the. Let me.The thing that a lot of people deal with regards to pleasing parents and doing what they're doing, what their expectations are of you. I've just been kind of like, I'm gonna do whatever I want because who's gonna tell me otherwise? No one's affording my life.No one is telling me I'm not living anywhere where somebody can tell me what to do. And I've just always moved like that.But also, people who have to navigate self, but then also have to navigate getting over people pleasing and doing what they what other people to do and not living for them. It's.

It's like there's so many ways to find your Own guiding principles. Yeah. And the raw material that we are working with are or is our life. You have a certain set of life circumstances.I've had a certain set of life circumstances. It's learning, it's unlearning, it's pushing against authority. It's not having anybody to model for you. It's all of it.And I think it's so interesting how at the end of the day, we really have to choose what is going to guide us and we have to trust.And it sounds like you've really leaned into source and spirit and God and that sort of spiritual rigor of having a practice and leaning into the spiritual life to help you find your way and feel that presence.

It was really. I knew that even when I was like mad at God. When my mom died, I was like, this is all bs.She was such a great person and she endured so much and how could she get cancer? Right. How could you give it to her? And the people that hurt her are still alive and going fine and all these sorts of things.And so I had to navigate that too, that anger that I had with God. And then I realized, okay, I. That's not the case. Everybody has an agreement. Everybody has a time that they have on Earth.And that doesn't mean that bad things happen to bad people and good things only good people, because there's no good or bad. It's just people who are choosing to exist in the full totality of compassion and kindness and not.Not naivete and not people who over give in a way to just, oh, I'm so compassionate to where you're doing it a disservice to yourself. That's not cool either. Yeah, but you lean, you fall into compassion fatigue, as Dr. Gabor Mate talks about and whatnot. And. But also it's.I don't know, you just come into a place where it's just like I. You, Your trust. I trust that the plan that God had for my life because there were so many instances to where I could not be here anymore.I could have gone a different route. I could have. I could have ended up somewhere else. I could have said yes to something that really got me into some hot water.And really just because I was on that trajectory. But I knew that I was like, okay, my mom didn't go through what she went through and did all that.She did her best she could for us, for me to throw it away. And so I lived a lot of time, a lot of my life in her shadow, in the shadow of my dead mother. And then I pedestaled her.

Yeah.

And then after I learned to humanize her and say, she could have done some things better. Yeah, she could have made some. She could have done right. Because she's a human being, of course. Or she was my mother.And so also making peace with her and forgiveness and all those things with her in the spiritual realm really helped me to start to trust the deeper spiritual realm outside of any sort of religion that I grew up in.

Yes.

Developing my own path and my own discovery and my own stories not based off of me finding my own teachers along the way. And then finally, full circling, coming to a place of, okay, I've found my teachers, right?But then now I'm ready to receive them in a way, and they're ready to receive me, right? So I found them then it's okay. Now that they see that I'm ready, I've found the right people who I am getting to learn from.Teachers like you, teachers like just my students, teachers like other friends that I have that I call my teachers as well. And just so many people that just remind me that angels really exist and they really are with us.And the minute we look up out of our fear and look up out of our darkness and crawl our way out, sometimes we gotta crawl and white knuckle and cry and get dirty and it hurts. But when we really get out of the muck, when we get out of wherever we feel stuck, we really see that, oh, shit.There is like, people who have been here and are really were sent here to really look out for me and work with me and we work together and be part of this beautiful life. So having pink, having moments, the pause, and having those moments to sit with and reflect, that's when things really. When I'm able to get quiet.And for the first time in my life over this last six months, I've been able to really get quiet. And so it's really.

I was just about to notice that. And listening to you, it feels like all roads have led you here to this offering, to where you are now with peace in the pause.And you're not grabbing at peace as some intellectual construct. You've really reached in and it's rising up and it's something that you want to offer.Now, will you tell us about that peace in the pause and where you are with it and what's about? I don't even know what it's about. I just saw this. We're starting to offer stuff about peace. And I was like, oh, I'm going to ask Ace about this.

Yeah, it's so peace in the pause is inspired by one of my teachers who talks, who shared with me the first time about a holy pause. So I grew up very hot tempered and would react before I have an opportunity to think or really respond.And so peace in the pause I started saying was that peace.Finding that peaceful moment to know the property most not even proper is not even the right, right word, but the most compassionate way to respond to something rather than reacting to it. And over this last year, I've really been like, okay, let me take a moment, let me step back, let me. And I'm not saying that I'm perfect.And it happens every single time. Even just this week, I had her in real time. Oh my gosh. Reaction to something that was happening that I really worked hard on it.It was launching peace in the pause and I got all upset with myself and just went back to some old thoughts that weren't serving me. See, I can't do it. I'm not enough. All of these things. And it's. Wait, that's not true. It was just a hiccup. It was just a broken link.Let's go back and fix it. Yeah, right. It's so frustrating. And then it's fine, right? And everything is fine. Everything is fine.And so me learning a couple years ago from someone as well as peace is the ultimate goal of joy. And knowing that, okay, I was staying brave in my pursuit of joy and what did that really look like? What did that feel like and where.That just came to me one day when I was doing my podcast with Jen. And then I was like, oh, staying brave in your pursuit of joy, Meaning no matter what is happening, you can find joy in the moments.This is overcoming different things that entrepreneurs are dealing with, business owners life. And then having peace be introduced or that holy pause statement, I was like, that's real.I'm going to really do my best to try that, to really sit with and accept the holy pause, the breath in between breath, the moments in between moments. And then having those as opportunities to really see and discover. And so then that started happening. I was like, okay, so peace in the pause.That's cool. And then I was like, all right. And then we. So I'm doing yoga meditation, somatic movement, somatic tapping, breathwork, sound bath as well.Those are all these really beautiful, peaceful moments that I can share with people who are interested. I can share with people who are really looking to regulate their nervous system, but not sure how.Perhaps they have healing modalities that they've been using and the use of them have expired. Right. Gone far enough with them. So how can we enhance upon them?And then that's when you find peace in the pause of really reflecting back on everything that you're doing in your life and seeing, okay, what is done or what can we enhance upon and what have we not even tapped in yet. And so me coming to that place with peace and pause has been a journey. And I really sit with things before I put them out there.I do my best to really practice of sitting with stuff, studying things. My teacher, Tracy Stanley does these 40 days sadhanas. And really sitting with something for 40 days really lets you to embody it. Right.Like you said, the embodiment of joy. And that is not done overnight.Especially how much sacredness and how much I honor every single thing that I get to do with such care that it's very intentional and very. I'm very mindful of holding space for people as they are growing in these different ways, in these different facets, in these different avenues.And so peace in the pause, it's just that it's an opportunity to regulate your nervous system, do so yoga breath, work, meditation, sound. And really an aspect of coaching you to joy.

Yes.I love that that you're on this right now because one of the things I've noticed in facilitating and being in groups and with my individual clients to just one of the things that's changed over the past 15 years that I've been doing this is how easy it is to get fearful in today's culture because it doesn't even belong to us. It's like fear is sticking to us that is not even our own.And so it's really only in the past couple years that I've been saying the phrase the nervous system, like you're nervous system, this, you're nervous, isn't that when I first started coaching, it just wasn't as big of a thing. It's. I really feel like that's. It's a much needed conversation.And I know it's happening on that academic level just like the words around it are happening. But I'm talking about like I talked about earlier, having it drop in and really like embodying the difference between responding and reacting.

Right.

Does have to do with pausing. And there's no one's going to stop.

You right now and be like, you.

Should pause because there is no, there's the 247 news cycle that we're holding in our palm of our hands on these Devices. So no one is coming to make us pause. It has to be that level of commitment to pausing.And I do think now that we're talking about it, I see this correlation between joy and peace. And people really talk about wanting happiness. But. And I agree, I think everybody wants.

To be happy, but I think people.

Don't want to be at peace. If you really have your. A peaceful mind, if you're able to access peace, happiness can get in there. Then you have a portal.

Yeah, yeah. And it's an emotion that really. It's an emotion and you're like, I get really happy and I also get sad.

Right.

And let it tell me that I'm not peaceful and then doesn't mean that I don't have joy. I'm just tapping into all the beautiful range of emotions that I get to tap into. Yeah. So, yeah, it's pretty cool.

Tell me about the kids. How kids.You and I have talked briefly about saying about you being a yoga teacher for children and your connection to children and you know, how connected I am to children. And yeah, it's a big part of why I feel so passionately about working with adults is because my.I have a background of working with teenagers and kids. So tell me about what they have taught you.And I think it's also brilliantly connected that you've worked with children leading up to this and you're finding that voice with being a teacher for children.

Yeah. Ace Yoga for kids, man. It's. It is the thing that I learned from children is ask for help. Fall down.If you fall down, get back up and just trust yourself and honestly, just be. Because guess they're going to be little kids are going to be. They're going to ask questions, they're going to use their voice. They.They might struggle with finding their words, but they will absolutely let you know when their needs are not getting met. And.And I think that also that is one of the things that's really exciting and one of the things that scared me the most at first about working with children was just real and they're pure and they just love and they see you and they don't see any sort of obstacle. They don't see. Sometimes they'll be like, I can't do something. But it's really just, oh, yeah, you can. Let's work on it together. Yeah, I can.And they do it and they try and they don't give up. Even if they say they can't do something, they're still going to try it. If you're Just patient with them.And then they're also expressing that I can't do it, but. But I feel like you could help me. And that's also a big thing.Like, that's as well too, is like, I don't know if I don't know the answer to something I'm asking and guess where I'm going. I'm lucky enough in my life that I know a lot of people with a wide range in a wide range of fields and work and professions.But I can say, you know what, I have a question about this. And most of the time people are going to be really excited to answer your question and really excited to help you.And people are really energized by it. And that's the same thing that children represent. They'll say, I'm tired, I'm ready for a snack, my bones hurt. I'm like, how are your bones hurting?And you're three. I don't understand that. But you know what? I honor you. Then if you need to take a rest, then take a rest, sister.

That makes me miss 3 year olds because I don't work with 3 year olds anymore. But my bones hurt.

And then those hurt. I said, oh, okay, do you need a break? Yeah. And then she's always in one of like, okay, when is this done?I'm like, you know what, I respect your inquiry, but we have a few more minutes if that's okay. And then. So it's just fun. And they're really smart. Yeah, they're brilliant. They pay attention.And so that's another thing, again with kids where I love working with them so much, is that they are really bright and they're really smart and talk to them like human beings because that's who they are. And don't be afraid to, like, challenge. Don't be afraid to give them something that's a bit of a challenge.Don't be afraid of asking them to do something that might be too hard, because they'll let you know. Too hard. They'll let you know if they can't do it. And they'll also show you that, okay, I can do hard things.And so it's a really great thing for me to continuously work with kids and, and just reflect it back. I can do hard things.

Yeah.

Yeah. Cool.

And they're so willing, like to laugh, smile, and the positivity and the possibility is right there. It's like right there.

You don't have to reach for it.

You don't have to get through this big narrative or get through Their ego, their insecurity. They're like, yeah. All of a sudden they're like having fun.

Yeah. And you're. Oh, okay, so you were just melting. I saw you melt and then now all of a sudden you're a mountain. Look at that.Look at how cool that is that you just did that.

Great evidence for the. One of the things I like to tell myself is no feeling is final. That's one of my mantras that I'll return to because I really can't remember it.Sometimes when I'm having a negative feeling, I'm like, I'm always gonna feel this way or why is this anxiety here? Or when is it gonna go away? But when you're around children, it's the truth. We are wired to move through feelings.We just get stuck when we're adults. Like, yeah. So heady about it and so self loathing and critical. Like, why are you feeling this way? Which stops the emotion from moving.So it's so beautiful that you get to move with kids.

Yeah. It's the coolest thing ever. On my coming up on my birthday, I'm going to be teaching at the preschool and then I'll be at the middle school.I'm also teaching an adult class. I am doing like, I'm actually coaching in this wellness practitioner in this cohort for Founders.And so I'm just doing all of this and I'm just like, this is the best. It's going to be the best birthday ever. Because not only am I just. It's not even it's work, but it's okay.I just get to do this thing that I never in my wildest dreams thought it would transpire into what it is today. And so I just, I. I'm just at this place now, Paige. Not that I ever.Not that I never was before, but really now life is just fun and it's beautiful and it's filled and it's complex and there are people in it. There are people in our lives and if we're really lucky, we get really lucky with some really great people in our lives.Help us hold our hand and remind us of our purpose. Yeah. So good.

It makes me want to love on that little girl who's in the softball picture.If she knew that you were going to be getting the giggles with three year olds with bounds and still all these years later, finding the joy through the power of your body, through the portal of your body, through embodiment and awareness and presence that you bring to your vitality. It's so beautiful. She's healing from you. So certainly at this stage of your life, being able to be at peace for sure.

So it's great.

So we'll. Since I'm aware of our time, let's end on what do you feel like is bringing you joy for the future? What's up for you?What are you looking forward to about you're having a birthday in a few days.

I think that what I'm most looking forward to and excited about the future is the resurgence of people being compassionate with themselves on their own personal journey and lending that compassion to communities that's nearby and even not even necessarily nearby, but basically lending that compassion to compute communities they may or may not be a part of, but really communities that are underserved, overlooked and often disregarded.And having compassion for yourself is in telling the story, telling your story with compassion, sharing your journey with compassion, and forgiving yourself with compassion.I think that the resurgence of people being like enough is enough and big change can happen and it doesn't take and I don't have to do it all on my own. So yeah, amen to that.

I'm so grateful we share community.

Thank you. I'm so grateful we share community.

Meant to be, Ace. Meant to be.

That is. It's the best thing ever, really. You're. You're a great teacher, you're a great light, you're a guide and it's just such an honor to know you.

Oh, likewise. Thank you for this.

I love it.

Ace is a person who's really persevered.

In her life and she's done that.

In the name of seeking her own wholeness and joy. She's found a way to heal and embrace her enoughness through through yoga.And she found a way to strengthen her faith and believe in herself through connecting with others and leaning into the grace of God and the miracle of community. I hadn't really thought about the connection between self love and fun before this conversation.But knowing Ace and getting this time with her helped me to see that connection more clearly.When we do the work of self acceptance and forgiveness, when we release the hurt from our past and put down the proving and the performing, we're more available for fun. Our hearts are lighter and we can laugh. Ace's story is a great example of how pausing is a part of self love.Asking for help, trusting ourselves, getting back up after we fall and remembering we can do hard things are all choices we can make with love.I'm inspired by Ace's future and the future she imagines for all of us one where compassion is centered and we consistently choose to lend compassion to ourselves and to others if we want to live peacefully and joyfully. Compassion is a great place to start. So in your life, where can you be more compassionate? That's a question I've been living lately.Where can you have a little more fun, be a little more present, allow yourself to just be and relax on some of the doing? Can you offer yourself or someone else a little more forgiveness, a little more acceptance?What is one way you can bravely pursue your joy today and pursue it with childlike wonder and openness? Ace, thank you so much for meeting us here. Thank you for sharing your story and journey with such honesty and compassion.I love when we get to spend time together and I appreciate your bright light in this world. I know it's a guide for many and it brings me great joy to see you shine.You can find out more about Ace and her services and offerings and retreats on her website aceyoga la.com, which we have linked in our show Notes. Thank you all for listening and I look forward to meeting you here again soon.

Thanks to each of you for being here and for listening. I'm so grateful we get to share life in this way. As always, full show notes are available at paige nolan.com forward slash podcast.There you will find a full summary of the episode, timestamps and key takeaways, and any resources mentioned in our conversation. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love if you would leave me a rating and a review.You can do that by visiting pagenolan.com love your reviews, really do help people to discover the show. And if you know someone specifically who would enjoy this episode, I'm so grateful to have you all share. I'll meet you there with your friends.Lastly, if you have any questions or comments or if you would like to share any feedback with me, Please email to meetmetheragenolan.com I would love to hear from you. Thank you to the team that makes this show possible.Podcast Production and Marketing by North Node Podcast Network Music by Boyd McDonnell Cover photography by Innis Casey okay y', all, that's it for now. I'll meet you there again.