Spaciousness, Stillness & Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to Inspiration with Danielle Baldwin
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In this episode of I’ll Meet You There, host Paige Nolan sits down with executive coach and author Danielle Baldwin for a thoughtful conversation about the relationship between inspiration and motivation—and why we need both. Together, they explore how inspiration acts as a pull toward purpose, while motivation becomes the push that helps us keep going when clarity fades or challenges arise.
Paige and Danielle reflect on why inspiration can feel elusive in fast-paced, high-pressure environments, and why it can’t be forced. Drawing from Danielle’s work and her book Sparking Greatness, the conversation highlights three conditions that invite inspiration to emerge: spaciousness, stillness, and self-forgetfulness. They discuss how creating space, quieting distraction, and shifting attention beyond the self can reconnect us with what truly matters.
Touching on leadership, burnout, and the experience of losing sight of one’s “why,” this episode offers grounded insights and gentle reminders that inspiration often shows up in ordinary moments—when we slow down enough to notice.
What We Explored This Episode
00:02 - Understanding Motivation and Inspiration
02:58 - Danielle's Journey to Executive Coaching
11:34 - The Dynamics of Inspiration: Understanding the Psychological Frame
22:40 - The Importance of Connection in Community
28:56 - Inspiration and Self-Forgetfulness
35:42 - Navigating Overwhelm and Burnout in Leadership
40:48 - Navigating the Helium Hand: Finding Your Own Space
54:25 - Finding Spaciousness During Overwhelm
57:40 - The Journey of Inspiration and an Invitation
Memorable Quotes
"Because what happens is when we get overblown, like we think that we're like doing this great thing and we show up crappy. And so all this help and love and we're doing it for all these other people and we're not showing up --- 'cause we're empty."
"The easiest way that I describe motivation and inspiration is inspiration is the pull and motivation is the push. "
Resources Mentioned
Sparking Greatness by Danielle Baldwin
Ryan Holiday: https://ryanholiday.net
On Being with Krista Tippett
The Questions that Fail Us by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Connect with Danielle
Website - https://www.daniellebbaldwin.com
Facebook - @danielle.b.baldwin
LinkedIn - @danielle-bruno-baldwin
Instagram - @_dbbaldwin
Connect with Paige
Website - https://paigenolan.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/paigenolanwrite
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/paigenolanwriter
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/paige-nolan-0932751/
🎙️
Music by Boyd McDonnell
Cover art photography by Innis Casey
Podcast production & marketing by North Node Podcast Network
North Node.
Speaker AThe easiest way that I describe motivation and inspiration is.
Speaker AInspiration is the pull and motivation is the push.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ASo in a moment in which a team has lost sight of like the why, that is when you need inspiration is when you need the poll.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AWhen they're pretty clear on what the why and they can see the top of the mountain, but they're like stuck in the mud.
Speaker AThat's when you need some motivation.
Speaker AThat's when you need a little bit of push.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ABut they work in tandem because we know by definition inspiration is fleeting.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike you're gonna get.
Speaker AIt's like, it's why so many.
Speaker ALike, I call it sparking greatness.
Speaker AIt is.
Speaker AIt's a spark.
Speaker AIt's a lightning bolt.
Speaker AIt's a firework.
Speaker ALike, it's this like, beautiful flash where everything.
Speaker AYou get this level of clarity and you're like, oh, okay.
Speaker AI think it's a connection to your higher self and like your higher purpose.
Speaker ALike, you get these flashes of it and then you need the motivation to like, once you've seen it and the sky goes dark again.
Speaker AMotivation is what lights you up to help get you back to what you saw.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CHi, I'm Paige Nolan.
Speaker BWelcome to.
Speaker CI'll meet you there.
Speaker BA place where heart centered conversations are everything.
Speaker BLiving what matters is the truest thing and sharing the journey is the best.
Speaker CHi everyone, and welcome back.
Speaker BToday, my guest is a dear friend, Danielle Baldwin.
Speaker CI'm so excited to have her here.
Speaker BTo talk about this topic that's really important to her.
Speaker BSo important, in fact, that she decided.
Speaker CTo write a book about it.
Speaker BAnd it's also a topic that interests me because I feel like it's important to all of us in a way that we don't often realize.
Speaker BThe topic is inspiration.
Speaker BDanielle Baldwin is an executive coach and the author of a new book entitled Sparking.
Speaker BHarnessing the power of inspiration to lead boldly and live fully.
Speaker BDanielle and I went to college together.
Speaker BWe share a lot of funny and now fuzzy memories of those days.
Speaker BAfter college, we've bonded over our shared love for creative writing.
Speaker BAnd now, in our more recent years, we also share a career path in coaching.
Speaker BDanielle started her career in the corporate world, earned her MBA, and then took a leap to pursue executive coaching 10 years ago.
Speaker BSince 2018, Danielle has been certified as a Vistage chair, launching and leading CEOs in peer group work.
Speaker BVistage is a membership community of CEOs, business owners and executives.
Speaker BSo you'll hear Danielle often refer to members in this episode and these Are the leaders she's been coaching in both group settings and individually.
Speaker BDanielle was writing fiction when the idea of harnessing inspiration became compelling to her.
Speaker BAnd that's where we start our conversation.
Speaker BWe talk about why the spark of inspiration matters, and it matters a lot.
Speaker BWe talk about the conditions that invite inspiration into our lives.
Speaker BDanielle offers us specific and practical ways to create these conditions.
Speaker BWe also talk about the difference between inspiration and motivation, the difference between overwhelm and burnout, and how we can stay out of both of those states.
Speaker BAnd we talk about how to notice what inspires you and how important it is to notice what inspires you.
Speaker BIt's a gift of clarity and purpose.
Speaker BDanielle offers us a very particular kind of discipline that she talks about towards the end of our conversation.
Speaker BThat's really useful when you're seeking to change.
Speaker BAnd it's actually a wonderful way to apply some of these ideas about inspiration.
Speaker BIf you're a person who has ever thought you have to wait to be inspired, and it's a passive feeling that is out of your control.
Speaker BThis episode will change your mind.
Speaker BEnjoy my conversation with Danielle Baldwin.
Speaker CSo give us a little context and backdrop about you getting into coaching and finding yourself in the position to even have this curiosity.
Speaker CAnd then a really studied reflection about inspiration.
Speaker AExcellent.
Speaker ASo executive coaching was accidental.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker AI feel like everything in life is like, oh, just kidding.
Speaker ALook what you're gonna do.
Speaker BHey.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo I was working, like, corporate.
Speaker ACorporate Danielle.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWorked in telecom on a strategy team.
Speaker AMy team was in Atlanta.
Speaker AI live in sunny Diego.
Speaker AI was commuting, and everything was breaking.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker ASo work was breaking.
Speaker AI was on a team.
Speaker AI did not.
Speaker ALike, we were working on a project.
Speaker ALike, work was bad.
Speaker AMy marriage was falling apart.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AMy body was falling apart.
Speaker CSo.
Speaker AAnd I didn't want to let go of any of it.
Speaker AAnd so the way that the world works or the universe works is when you are holding on too tightly to something, the universe will push you out of the plane.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AOut you go, sis.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd in the moment it is.
Speaker AYou have a moment of exhilaration and then a moment of.
Speaker AThen many moments of terror.
Speaker AAnd so I found myself.
Speaker AAll of the labels that I had used to define myself, which were wife of executive at, like, all of these things no longer applied.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd I got to pick who I wanted to be again.
Speaker AAnd the favorite.
Speaker AMy favorite part of being an executive was working with my people and developing them.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ASo I started doing, like, a little bit of executive coaching on the side.
Speaker AAnd then somebody came to me and Said, have you heard of this company called Vistage?
Speaker AAnd I was like, no, no, I'm good.
Speaker CNever heard of.
Speaker AYeah, I.
Speaker ALike, I don't know.
Speaker AAnd they knew me right.
Speaker AWell enough to know.
Speaker ASo I've been writing for a really long time and it's very important to me.
Speaker AAnd that is one of the ways that we bond deeply.
Speaker AYes, yes.
Speaker CLove it.
Speaker AAnd somebody had the presence of mind to say, oh, it's like a reading critique group, except it's for CEOs and business owners.
Speaker AAnd I was like, oh, well, yeah.
Speaker CWhat an intriguing tagline for you.
Speaker ATotally.
Speaker AI was like, oh, well, I know how reading critique groups have, like, wildly informed my work over time.
Speaker ASo, yeah, that's how I got into coaching.
Speaker AAnd then how the book came about was also by accident.
Speaker ASo I was happily working on a fiction project.
Speaker AThink like Three Billboards meets Crash, centered around the question of the questions that fail us.
Speaker ASo it's this like awesome fiction project.
Speaker AI'm like, yes, yes, there is.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd I was in a one to one with one of my members.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AIt's the middle of Pandemic.
Speaker AIt was July, so everybody's still at their kitchen table, still trying to like, figure all this stuff out.
Speaker ASo he tells me this story and he's like, d. He's like, I did skip levels with all my employees, so I had them meet with their direct manager.
Speaker AAnd I asked.
Speaker AWe asked them these three questions.
Speaker ALike, do you understand your role?
Speaker ADo you understand where the company is headed?
Speaker AAnd like, how are you feeling?
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd he was like, so to a person.
Speaker AThey answered, yes, yes.
Speaker AAnd motivated.
Speaker AAnd I was like, I got you, dude.
Speaker ALike, what?
Speaker AAnd he's like, so then I sat down with all the employees and I asked.
Speaker AWe went through a one to one and I asked them the same three questions.
Speaker AAnd they answered, yes, yes.
Speaker AAnd then they said, inspire.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd I was like, huh?
Speaker AHe's like, so why would that be?
Speaker AAnd I'm like, huh, I'm not quite sure.
Speaker AAnd then he was like, well, what is inspiration anyway?
Speaker AAnd I was like, what?
Speaker CNight Night Fiction.
Speaker ATotally, totally.
Speaker AGoodbye.
Speaker CDid you do that?
Speaker ADid you.
Speaker CDid you put the.
Speaker CDid you put the fiction aside?
Speaker AOh, girl, I am stubborn.
Speaker ASo I would like drag that fiction out and it would be like.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, no, no, come on, let's go play with this.
Speaker AAnd it was like, yeah.
Speaker AAnd then I would pull the book out on inspiration and it was like, yes.
Speaker CSo how do you go about it?
Speaker CDid you.
Speaker CDid you go about it first with Your own reflections or research?
Speaker AYeah, I did.
Speaker ASo for me I. I love Ryan Holiday.
Speaker ADo you love Ron?
Speaker COf course Ryan.
Speaker CI can totally see how you would love him though.
Speaker CI feel like you, you were destined.
Speaker AFor him when you were like was little known fact.
Speaker AI actually worked with him for a year way, way back in the day when I was still in the corporate world and like this very side weird project.
Speaker ABut in any case I.
Speaker AHe is a lovely human and I his work because.
Speaker ASo Ryan, note cards and normally I don't note card but I decided I would start with that.
Speaker ASo I started with note cards and like the feeling of inspiration and moments in which I remembered being inspired and then I just started like Google Scholaring like every study like these two guys, Thrash and Elliot have done most of the work from a psychological perspective on inspiration, read a ton of their stuff and then started piecing together what the book was.
Speaker CDid it surprise you initially when you were looking at the research and what the elements are?
Speaker ASome of it was surprising.
Speaker AOne of the things that was surprising about the writing process is I am accustomed to in fiction the narrative will move underneath your feet.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ASo you will think the storyline is going in a certain way and it like takes this like crazy right hand turn.
Speaker AI didn't think that would happen with non fiction.
Speaker AAnd it did.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ASo one of the things there are these three precursor states to inspiration which I can talk about later.
Speaker AAnd I thought that it was like a stool, like a three legged stool.
Speaker AAnd then the more I realized it's not.
Speaker AIt's actually like a.
Speaker AIt's there are these steps that build on each other.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AWhich was surprising to me because you.
Speaker CNeed one to open the door to the other.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AIt's way more helpful to have the first than to have the second.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ATo get to the third.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker ACan they live independently?
Speaker AThey can, but it's way, way more likely that the second or third one's going to show up if the first or second's already in place.
Speaker CAnd how did you come to that?
Speaker CIs that through lived experience and talking to your clients alongside research?
Speaker AIt was, it was.
Speaker AAnd then looking at these story.
Speaker AI read lots and lots and lots of stories of people that people found inspiring.
Speaker ALike starting with Victor Frankl.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BOf course.
Speaker AI would say like probably the most inspirational story that most people think of when they think of inspiration.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd then really like living with that concept.
Speaker AAnd as I was writing the book I was like wow.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ANo, I don't think they're into.
Speaker AThey don't Seem like they're that independent.
Speaker AIt's like this aperture that starts really wide and then gets, like, narrower and narrower.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CAnd maybe we should.
Speaker CMaybe we should tell the people.
Speaker CThis is.
Speaker CThis is the part of your relationship research.
Speaker CAnd.
Speaker CAnd the main theme of the book is that you can't force inspiration.
Speaker CYou have to create the environment.
Speaker BIs.
Speaker CIt's the word environment that you use.
Speaker COr.
Speaker AOr.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI mean, environment totally works.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo from a psychological perspective, inspiration is defined by these three states.
Speaker ASo the first one is transcendence.
Speaker AIt's like that feeling of like.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike I have this picture that I keep at my desk.
Speaker AThis is what, like, inspiration looks like to me.
Speaker CIt's so cool.
Speaker AYou know, it's like this.
Speaker AThere's this light and this openness to it.
Speaker AThe second one they call, like, evocation, which essentially means.
Speaker AYeah, it just.
Speaker AIt's not like, feel the dreams.
Speaker ALike, you don't build it, and it comes.
Speaker AYou have to set the stage for it, but you can't force it.
Speaker AYou can't be like, paige, I'm gonna be inspired today right now.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd then the third one is called approach motivation, which in regular people terms essentially means, like, what I call inspired to versus inspired by.
Speaker ASo, like, it makes you want to go do something different?
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AIt makes you want to go be somebody different.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo that is what inspiration in its psychological frame is.
Speaker CAnd when you talk to leaders, do you think that they know that they're doing this, or do you find that inspirational?
Speaker CLeaders are doing it unconsciously?
Speaker AMost are doing it unconsciously.
Speaker CThat's what I would think.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CAnd then when.
Speaker CAnd also, by the way, for listeners, and I've done this before when I've had executive coaches or kind of conversations that go into this realm of business or that.
Speaker CIt's, for me, listening.
Speaker CIt's also a family.
Speaker CYou know, I'm always inviting listeners to see their family life as an expression of leadership and teamwork.
Speaker CAnd so, you know, I. I imagine for people running families or running teams or running groups or in organizations, when you bring consciousness to it, it elevates the whole thing, because inspiration matters.
Speaker CI mean, it's.
Speaker CIt's, you know, one lot in one side.
Speaker CIt's like, well, maybe it doesn't matter because it's this thing that comes to us and we can't pushed for it, but it really is important.
Speaker CCan you talk about that a little bit?
Speaker CHow it.
Speaker CHow essential it is to.
Speaker AYeah, I will frame it in a study that Bain Co. Did a few years ago.
Speaker AThat measured exactly this.
Speaker ASo they looked at employees and they kind of created like, a Maslow's hierarchy.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AWith satisfied on the bottom.
Speaker AAnd these are people that, like, felt safe in their job and everything was good.
Speaker AAnd then engaged employees who felt like they had the tools they needed to be able to do what they needed to do, and then inspired employees up at the top.
Speaker AAnd the way that they described it is, if a wall went up at work, what would each of these employees do?
Speaker AAnd so what they found with satisfied employees is, like, they would stand around kind of talking about the wall and, like, problem solving.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd the engaged employees would, like, make a plan to, like, get through the wall, and an inspired employee will just, like, run through it.
Speaker CThrough the wall.
Speaker CI love it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo in real terms, what does that look like?
Speaker AIt looks like 250 times the level of productivity.
Speaker BWow.
Speaker AWhen somebody is inspired by, like, the company's mission and values and also the leadership team, like, there's alignment there.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo that.
Speaker AAnd that starts at the very beginning with employees, because if they, like, it's a good hiring practice.
Speaker ABecause if there's not, like, a shared sense of vision or purpose, you're never really going to be able to inspire them.
Speaker CRight, Right.
Speaker AYou might get them, like, excited a little bit, but, like, that level of like, I'm running through the freaking wall.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ASo it's important that there's.
Speaker AThat we're looking for that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CI work with a lot of fledgling businesses, and I find that even when you say to your one or two employees that you don't know exactly what the vision looks like, that can be inspiring, you know, so it's, like, revealing because I think some people are like, it has to be airtight or I have to.
Speaker CAnd it gets so big, and it's like, know when you.
Speaker CWhen you join in a group, it's evolving, but to language that you know and invite people into that process with you, I think can be very bonding.
Speaker AIt's.
Speaker CIt's like getting to the top of the triangle.
Speaker CGetting to inspiration.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI think I have a group of small business owners, and there's this misnomer that, like, you have to, like.
Speaker AI tell them, like, I don't know about.
Speaker AFor you, but for a lot.
Speaker AMany people in that group, like, financials are, like, very overwhelming.
Speaker COh, yeah.
Speaker CFor sure.
Speaker AAnd they look at other people in the group, and there's a wealth manager in the group.
Speaker AThere's someone that runs a fractional CFO firm.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo there are people in the room that have this, like, strong financial acumen, and the other members will just get, like, kind of frustrated.
Speaker AAnd I was like, do you think that they came out of the womb, like, knowing what was.
Speaker ALike, do you think that that's true?
Speaker ALike, they walked around when they were a toddler, like, hey, mom, like, look at the expenses.
Speaker ALike, they learned it.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike, you're gonna learn.
Speaker AYou're gonna learn how to do a mission and a vision and a value, and you're gonna learn financials.
Speaker AAnd, like, no one knew it.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker AWe don't.
Speaker ALike, it's cool.
Speaker CYeah, yeah.
Speaker ALike, let the.
Speaker ALike, I find with leaders, they're so good at giving grace to other people, and they're horrible at giving grace to themselves.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CLike, absolutely.
Speaker AThey can give grace out all.
Speaker COh, yeah.
Speaker AAnd we're good.
Speaker AAnd then it comes to themselves, and they're like.
Speaker AI was like, yeah, no, let's not.
Speaker ALet's not.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CAnd it doesn't.
Speaker CWhen you get into yourself like that, when.
Speaker CWhen you lay into yourself with that inner critic, it just completely robs you of inspiration because you're in the weeds, and it robs you of motivation.
Speaker CYou know, there's.
Speaker CWe talk about how those two are linked, because I think sometimes we get those confused, and we don't see how much they need to partner with each other.
Speaker AThey do.
Speaker AI.
Speaker AIn the book, I call them the Wonder.
Speaker AYou remember the Wonder Twins?
Speaker AYeah, Wonder Twins.
Speaker CThat's a good title for the two of them.
Speaker CInspiration.
Speaker AMotivation.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AMy brother was totally busting me.
Speaker AHe was like, were they really effective?
Speaker ALike, he was a pail of water.
Speaker ALike, really?
Speaker AAnd I was like, well, you know, it's the analogy.
Speaker BGo with it.
Speaker CYeah, totally.
Speaker ABut, yeah, like, motivation.
Speaker AThe easiest way that I describe motivation and inspiration is inspiration is the pull, and motivation is the push.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ASo in a moment in which a team has lost sight of, like, the why, that is when you need inspiration is when you need the pole.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AWhen they're pretty clear on what, the why, and they can see the top of the mountain bird, they're, like, stuck in the mud.
Speaker AThat's when you need some motivation.
Speaker AThat's when you need a little bit of push.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ABut they work in tandem because we know by definition inspiration is fleeting.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike, you're gonna get.
Speaker AIt's like.
Speaker AIt's why so many.
Speaker ALike, I call it sparking greatness.
Speaker AIt is.
Speaker AIt's a spark.
Speaker AIt's a lightning bolt.
Speaker AIt's a firework.
Speaker ALike, it's this, like, beautiful flash where everything you get this level of clarity and you're like, oh, okay.
Speaker AI think it's a connection to your higher self and like your higher purpose.
Speaker ALike you get these flashes of it and then you need the motivation to like, once you've seen it and the sky goes dark again.
Speaker AMotivation is what lights you up to help get you back to what you saw.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CIs there a way for us to get more touch points with inspiration?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker ASo I mentioned before, there are these three precursor stuff and they are spaciousness.
Speaker AAnd that is mental, physical, emotional.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo like when you go to a conference or a retreat and you're like, oh my gosh, I got all these great ideas, I'm so inspired.
Speaker AWell, part of that is because you've created spaciousness in almost every sense of the world.
Speaker AWord from your normal world.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo you are okay that you're not replying to texts or emails or your phone is on silent and your kids know like, hey, mom's not available right now.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker APhysically, normally you're in a different place.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AYou're not at your house, you're at a retreat center, you're at a conference center, you're at a hotel, whatever.
Speaker AAnd you have given yourself permission to have spaciousness from your world.
Speaker AYou're like, well, I'm at this conference, while I'm at this retreat, I'm at this training.
Speaker ASo the first one is kind of creating the sense of spaciousness.
Speaker AThe second one is stillness.
Speaker ASo once we have the spaciousness, the stillness isn't necessarily physical.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AIt's mental.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo some people can get very still by running.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AOr gardening or playing guitar or doing a jigsaw puzzle or crafting or.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AIt's like those moments are when you're.
Speaker AYou lose track of time.
Speaker AAnd the best activities to get stillness are the ones that you're doing for being sake and not for doing sake.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo reading.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike if I'm reading something because I want to learn and I'm underlining and I'm taking notes, I'm reading with the purpose of learning.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ABut if I'm reading just to like lose myself, then I'm reading for the being state of that.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd that's where we are able to turn off our inner critic or the all of the processes and like narrow the 18 lanes of highway information in our brains, like down to like two.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AAnd then the third one is self forgetfulness.
Speaker AAnd that is when we take that spotlight that we have trained on ourselves 90 of the time.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ANot in an ego way.
Speaker ABut it's like, like what we were talking about earlier this morning before we hit record.
Speaker ALike, oh my gosh, it's so crazy.
Speaker ARun it.
Speaker ALike, Here are the 10 more things that I need to do to.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd swinging that spotlight out.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ASo self forgetfulness we have most often in like community.
Speaker AAnd community can be like a group of CEOs or friends or like getting together for a reunion with your girls.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AOr it can be a concert, or it can be a 12 step program, or it can be a writing group or a gardening group or an hr.
Speaker AI mean, they're like all these different ways the community shows up.
Speaker AAnd that can be a really good way to like kick in the.
Speaker AThe self forgetfulness.
Speaker CYeah, I.
Speaker CThat one was really intriguing to me when you wrote about that.
Speaker CAnd it made me pause and think where I get self forgetfulness, the experience of it.
Speaker CAnd I loved how you brought up community.
Speaker CBecause I think it's connection, you know, because then I always say the biggest energy wins, which is not my saying.
Speaker CMy therapist taught me this, my beloved therapist, Greg, years ago.
Speaker CAnd it's.
Speaker CIt's one of those tenants, you know, it comes up in all of the work that we do, but I return to it often.
Speaker CAnd when the biggest energy is about connection, then you're set up to forget yourself because you're not so self conscious.
Speaker CAnd.
Speaker CAnd I'll do it sometimes walking into a new place or a dinner party where I don't know everybody, or if I'm used to going places with my husband, Boyd, and maybe I'm going somewhere without him.
Speaker CI recently went to a wedding without him.
Speaker CHe was out of town.
Speaker CAnd it's the first time I've gone to a wedding solo, maybe ever.
Speaker CBecause when we were younger, we knew the people getting married.
Speaker CAnd this is one of my neighbors, the daughter of my next door neighbor getting married.
Speaker CAnd I love this family, but I really don't know their extended family and I don't know their extended friend group.
Speaker CI just know them.
Speaker CAnd I wanted to see the bride.
Speaker CAnd I had to really talk myself into connecting.
Speaker CLike deciding when I walked into that reception, I am here for connecting with the bride's friends, the mother of the bride, the father of the bride, who is important to them, and get out of my head.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CAnd there were moments I was able to do that, and then there were other moments where I was self conscious, but it has to be intentional.
Speaker CAnd I find that that intention to connect is the portal to being able to let yourself just, oh, I can Relax now.
Speaker CI'm not thinking about if I'm wearing the right thing or if I'm saying the right thing.
Speaker CAnd it's such a liberating feeling.
Speaker CIt's so relaxing.
Speaker AIt is, it's so.
Speaker AI mean, I think we don't realize how often we're in our heads and like listening to the mental chatter or thinking about, you know, I have these things or to your point, like going to a wedding and being like, I don't know anybody here and I'm wondering if I'm wearing the right thing, if I'm too dressy, if I'm not dressy enough or whatever else.
Speaker AAnd it is, it's so liberating to get like, it's like a little bit of a vacation from yourself.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AHey, I'm going on vacation away from you, right?
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd did that one surprise you when that came up in your research?
Speaker AYes and no.
Speaker AYeah, like I never, um.
Speaker AIt's the one state of being that people are the most curious about.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CI, I found myself, I'm curious right now in this moment.
Speaker CBut I, even in reading about it, I was curious.
Speaker CI would have never predicted that or I don't even think of that term.
Speaker CYou know, I don't even think of a self forgetting as a term.
Speaker CI think of like self honoring or self centered in a good way.
Speaker CI often think of higher self centered, you know, like you need to center on what is best for you in the bigger way.
Speaker CBut I don't think of self forgetting.
Speaker CSo it's a really intriguing phrase even.
Speaker AAbsolutely.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AIt's not mine.
Speaker CYeah, it's not mine.
Speaker AIt is the, like one of the.
Speaker AWhen we talk about Thrash and Elliot, it's one of the things that they talk about.
Speaker AYeah, but it is, it's just so when I think about the moments in which I have inspiration.
Speaker ALike before, you know, when I was in that conversation with Brenton and then having that like the, the fiction project that I was working on before.
Speaker AI was listening to.
Speaker AI was totally engrossed.
Speaker ADo you ever listen to Krista Tippett.
Speaker COn Yes, I love her.
Speaker AOh my gosh, she.
Speaker AWhatever.
Speaker AAnd so this woman had introduced her, I'd had actually through Brenton.
Speaker AI mean, is he the source of all inspiration?
Speaker AJust kidding.
Speaker CHi, Brinton.
Speaker CYes, he is.
Speaker CFor this project.
Speaker AThis project.
Speaker AHe had introduced me to this woman and I had had coffee with her and she had talked about on being and she was like, I think you would really like this podcast.
Speaker ASo I am driving home, listening to that podcast and I was like.
Speaker AAnd she mentions this quote from Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.
Speaker AAnd she mentioned the questions that fail us.
Speaker AAnd I literally pulled off the road, I was like, oh my gosh.
Speaker AOr when I'm at.
Speaker AI'm on the board of a nonprofit that supports transitioning homeless.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd I have deep moments of inspiration when I am at a board meeting or we're hearing a story of a family that we.
Speaker ABecause that organization essentially fully furnishes a home for a family or a veteran or somebody that's recently transitioned from homelessness.
Speaker ABecause often when they get a place to live, they have enough money to cover rent and utilities and food, but they don't have any extra to like furnish.
Speaker ASo we come in and it's like the best kind of like diy, Right?
Speaker CTotally.
Speaker AAnd I think about our clients there and it's wildly inspiring.
Speaker AOr I'll be at a concert.
Speaker ALike I, I know you and I like from our 18 year old roots.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike, love the music.
Speaker AAnd I get wildly inspired there.
Speaker AI guess I get inspired by trees.
Speaker AIt sounds ridiculous.
Speaker COh, I get so inspired by trees.
Speaker CI'm sure I've talked about that on this podcast for my clients.
Speaker C100%.
Speaker CIt's like, I know what you're going to tell me.
Speaker CGo put my hands on a tree.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker COr go sit next to a tree.
Speaker CI think trees are absolutely amazing.
Speaker CI mean, we know this now that we're studying them more.
Speaker CI mean, they're really incredible.
Speaker CThere's a whole other thing about them that's, that's peaceful and inviting and the fact that their roots and then their roots are connected and they all thrive together.
Speaker CI mean, they're really a model for what it could be for us getting through all the seasons.
Speaker CYou know, I agree.
Speaker AI tell people, trees are my people.
Speaker AI do.
Speaker AI feel like they're my people.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike trees are my people.
Speaker AAnd it's hysterical because I live in Southern California where I'm like, our trees are so lame.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI think that this self forgetfulness, like, really allows us to detach and be like, open.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ANew ideas.
Speaker AAnd there's this big five personality trait assessment that's often used in psychology.
Speaker AAnd one of them is, one of the big five is openness.
Speaker AAnd then it's split into all these subcategories.
Speaker AAnd so one of the, the traits that's highly correlated with inspiration is openness to aesthetics.
Speaker ASo people that are like, love art, love music, like love nature or beauty, because we get this sense of awe Right.
Speaker AFrom those Things.
Speaker AAnd we again, can flip.
Speaker AThe spotlight is not flipping out necessarily to a person or a group.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ABut to this thing outside ourselves that we can appreciate.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AIs another really great way for self forgetfulness.
Speaker AAnd the other thing that I found that as a very high introvert, they were like, extroverts are more likely to be inspired.
Speaker AAnd I was like, boo.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CIs that true?
Speaker CIt doesn't feel true to me.
Speaker AI.
Speaker AIf we are to follow the studies and the work that has been done in theory.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker AI am going to like plant my flag as the high introvert who feels wildly inspired on the regular.
Speaker AThat I don't think that's true.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AThe data does not support my view.
Speaker CYour experience either.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CI thought it was so interesting when you were talking about the man who ran the Four Minute Mile.
Speaker BRoger.
Speaker CIs it Banister?
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CThat made me think what inspires you is so personal that then it becomes a channel for self knowledge, which, you know, I mean, that's what this whole podcast is about, you know, bringing people on who have learned something about themselves and decided that they can live more aligned to their values.
Speaker CAnd I think that's such a huge part of fulfillment in every way.
Speaker CSo to then take inventory of your inspiration and the things that don't inspire you but inspire someone else, like your partner or your colleague or your friend.
Speaker CGet curious about that.
Speaker CBecause the man running the Four Minute Mile does not inspire me.
Speaker CBut I love that he broke the record.
Speaker CBut I don't have like physical goals like that.
Speaker CBut I remember when Bernee Brown did her power of vulnerability talk.
Speaker CAnd I had had kids in 2009, so I think it was like right around there.
Speaker CMaybe I.
Speaker CMy babies were like a year, so I was really in flux with my career.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CAnd I just remember listening to that TED Talk and having this whole mind opening of like, oh, I can teach from storytelling.
Speaker CAnd she's from Texas and she's relatable and she has that quality of being very grounded in her research and really loving academia and knowledge, but also just human and willing to be funny and just willing to tell her truth.
Speaker CAnd that to me at the time was like, oh, I could do it that way.
Speaker CLike if I went on my own and coaching and helping people, I can do it through storytelling and relating my own personal stories to help someone else in theirs.
Speaker CBut I really did not have a model for that before her work.
Speaker CAnd I know her work has shifted now and she's more in the leadership space and consulting.
Speaker CBut at that moment, it's like mentioning your own therapy experience and mentioning, like, arguments with your husband over closing the refrigerator door.
Speaker CI'm like, oh, I can.
Speaker CI can see now.
Speaker CAnd that is inspiration.
Speaker CWhen you were talking about it in the book, the root of it being connected to breath and breathing life into something.
Speaker CThat is what I felt in that moment.
Speaker CI mean, I've had a lot of moments, but as it relates to work, and I know a lot of these listeners will know Brene Brown's work in that way.
Speaker CIt's like, oh, that resonates with me.
Speaker CMy husband could watch that TED Talk and not fall asleep during it.
Speaker CI mean, not.
Speaker CHe respects Brene Brown because now he knows her.
Speaker CBecause now I've made him know her.
Speaker CBut he's gonna.
Speaker CYeah, he is, like, weeping over Radiohead's album.
Speaker CYou know, when.
Speaker CRadiohead.
Speaker CWhat was that big album?
Speaker CMy Memory.
Speaker AI can see the COVID of it.
Speaker CSame, same.
Speaker CIt'll come to us.
Speaker CBut I remember when he first listened to that, the cut of that album, he was so inspired.
Speaker CHe was just on another.
Speaker CIt just.
Speaker CHis mind was completely captivated in a way.
Speaker CSo I love that exercise for people, you know, taking inventory of really what blows your mind and in a specific way, let that connect you to what you value.
Speaker AYeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker AI think, like, that is.
Speaker AThat description of you watching Brene's TED Talk is exactly.
Speaker AThat is.
Speaker AThat is a moment of inspiration.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike, the world falls away.
Speaker AYou have complete clarity of like, oh, my gosh, I can be this.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AIt's like, why Robert Bannister is.
Speaker AIs inspiring for people that are marathoners or engaging in some sort of physical challenge.
Speaker ALike, it's that moment where hope becomes faith.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ALike, oh, I wonder.
Speaker AAnd then you're like, oh, my gosh, I can do that.
Speaker AYeah, I. I could do that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ASo it's like that connection with, like, this higher purpose for you.
Speaker ALike, Boyd, we know, is like this wildly talented musician.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo it makes sense that in the moment of him listening to this album, that that is like, yeah, you know, opens up all this inspiration for him.
Speaker AAnd we know, like, the deep work that you do with women and with leaders and business owners, like, it makes total sense that you have this moment with Brene.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker CSo good.
Speaker CSo how do you support someone if they're.
Speaker CIf they don't feel inspired?
Speaker CI mean, I'm sure this is a part of your work.
Speaker CLike, is it fear?
Speaker CIs it self doubt?
Speaker CTalk to us about getting, you know, the blocks, the barriers.
Speaker CWhat do you find people up against to try to get Their minds to be open.
Speaker AIf you were wondering if someone writing a book on inspiration and motivation could become wildly uninspired and demotivated, the answer to that is yes.
Speaker AWell, that's a good.
Speaker CTake us there.
Speaker CTake us to your.
Speaker CMidway through.
Speaker AOh, my God.
Speaker CIt's always the hardest.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AI think where I see so many people, like Most of my CEOs and executives are in overwhelm mostly.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker AOr a lot of them got to burnout post just coming out of the pandemic because they had been holding an organization and holding it down at home and like, holding all the things for all the people.
Speaker AAnd so, you know, overwhelm is like, I've got like a coffee, I've got the dog leash, I've got keys, I've got groceries, and I am like, careening around on the sidewalk.
Speaker AAnd like, burnout is like, I hit the pavement.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd I don't care.
Speaker CThat that was a big distinction for me because I've experienced both of those same.
Speaker CThat quality of apathy.
Speaker CI have really felt that, like, I do not care.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CAnd I think that's a.
Speaker CFor people listening, that's a big difference between being overwhelmed with the amount on your plate, you know, and stressed out.
Speaker CAnd maybe when you're overwhelmed, you space out and scroll too much, but you still.
Speaker CThere's still a part of you that wants to go back and do something when you're burnout.
Speaker CYou're like, I'm out.
Speaker CLiterally burn out.
Speaker CBye.
Speaker ABye.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker CSo you're on the phone, you're noticing they're in overwhelm.
Speaker CThis is at the time you're getting into inspiration.
Speaker CYou're post Covid.
Speaker CHow do you help them back into a state of openness?
Speaker ASo it's about discipline in this kind of really weird way.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo the first thing that I notice is we have to.
Speaker AI know I mentioned this earlier in terms of the steps like closing the aperture, but we have to do it with our time.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker ASo it happens when you're an overwhelm or burnout is you are so open, you are so boundaryless.
Speaker ALike, you have so many inputs coming in.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker ASo whether it's email, assuming you are the lucky person that has one email address, who even has that?
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWe've got all the forms of social media, We've got all the forms of news, We've got text messages and WhatsApp and Slack and Microsoft Teams.
Speaker AAnd then so we have all of these inputs that I always feel so old.
Speaker AThings like we didn't used to have now.
Speaker CI feel the same way, but it's so.
Speaker CI think without that context, it's true.
Speaker CAnd I think we don't give ourselves enough grace.
Speaker CLike, it's real.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker CIt's like what you said earlier, that the voice, the inner critic, and how leaders are.
Speaker CAre full of grace for other people, but not necessarily, you know, full of forgiveness for themselves.
Speaker CAnd I think it's because of what you just said.
Speaker CThe context of information and all the open channels, it's totally new territory.
Speaker CAnd we act like we should know how to do this.
Speaker ATotally.
Speaker BIt's.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker AI totally agree.
Speaker CAnd it's so weird to observe.
Speaker CI was just traveling for the past 24 hours before I'm speaking to you.
Speaker BLike, to look at people, like, scrolling.
Speaker COn their phones in the airport, like, video after video, like, just to observe it.
Speaker CAnd then I go sit down at my gate, and what do I do?
Speaker CYeah, I scroll and I'm like, sending cat videos to a friend from high school who I love.
Speaker CI love doing that.
Speaker CBut I mean, it's just a weird.
Speaker CLike, you're in it.
Speaker CIt's like, information.
Speaker CDo I really need to be looking at all of these opinions and videos?
Speaker CAnd I don't even know what it is.
Speaker CLike, what am I even doing?
Speaker ATotally.
Speaker CAnyway.
Speaker ATotally.
Speaker CSo, yeah, I understand that.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CThe channels are open.
Speaker CI'm with you.
Speaker AChannels are open.
Speaker AYour nervous system is blown.
Speaker CYeah, blown.
Speaker ALike, you are so fried.
Speaker AYou are crispy.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd so it starts with having, like, some discipline around.
Speaker ADo you need notifications on for that?
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ALike, what can you cut out from an input perspective?
Speaker AYeah, part of it is what.
Speaker AI had a member who taught me this phrase a few years ago that I love.
Speaker AIt's popping your helium hand.
Speaker COkay, tell us more.
Speaker ALike, she tells this story.
Speaker ASo she is the CEO of her company that she runs with her husband, and she does a lot of volunteer work.
Speaker AShe's got kids that have sports.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo many people can.
Speaker ACan think about that.
Speaker AAnd so she is.
Speaker AShe's on several industry boards.
Speaker ASo she's doing work in the industry.
Speaker AShe's running a company.
Speaker AShe's a very active mom.
Speaker AShe's active in the community.
Speaker AAnd she's at the PTA meeting and they're talking about the gala for that year.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd the executive director is like, so, you know, we're looking for somebody to take charge of the gala this year.
Speaker AAnd I have had the conversation with this member about how overwhelmed and burnt out she is.
Speaker AAnd she was like, wouldn't you know it?
Speaker AOut of the corner of my eye, I see this hand go up, and then I realize, like this.
Speaker AAnd then I realized it's my freaking hand.
Speaker AYeah, it's my hand.
Speaker AAnd, like, they are.
Speaker AOur hands just, like, float up in these moments when.
Speaker ABecause we're used to being the helper and we're used.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike, I'll lean in, I'll help out.
Speaker AOh, does somebody need help?
Speaker ALike, I can do that.
Speaker AAnd I'm not saying don't help people.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ABut if you can take a moment before.
Speaker AIf you can, like, pop the helium hand or ask yourself a question.
Speaker AIf you are the person that, like, signs up for all the things.
Speaker AThings.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AWhether it's from fomo.
Speaker ALike, I'm not even going to get into the why.
Speaker AThat'll take us a whole another hour.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ABut let's say you're the person that signs up for the things.
Speaker AIf you can just ask yourself or commit to yourself that if somebody asks you for something, you give yourself, hey, I so appreciate the ask.
Speaker AI need to go back and take a look to see if that fits based on what's going on for me.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd at least give yourself time.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AYou can.
Speaker AAt least give yourself time.
Speaker AI'm going to be so much happier than if you're like, oh, I can do it.
Speaker CLike, yeah.
Speaker CEven writing it down on a card.
Speaker CLike, having the language for.
Speaker CNo.
Speaker CI had a guest on named Amy Wilson who wrote a collection of essays called Happy to Help she, Episode one, Season two, and she talks about that moment that you just described with your client, the helium hand, and she talks about the discomfort.
Speaker CSo it's what.
Speaker CWhat it made me think of is popping the helium hand is uncomfortable.
Speaker CAnd so we have to really breathe through that moment and live, like, get to the other side of it.
Speaker AAbsolutely.
Speaker CThat's a powerful moment.
Speaker CI think a lot of people struggle with that moment.
Speaker CI struggle with wanting to be so convenient for people.
Speaker COh, I'll move this appointment.
Speaker CI can fit this in.
Speaker CI like it in to the point where it doesn't even occur to me to.
Speaker CTo push something.
Speaker CI just had a. I can't remember what kind of doctor's appointment it was.
Speaker CI'm drawing a blank.
Speaker CBut I've done a lot of doctor's appointments at the end of the year just to, like, be ready for, you know, a new year.
Speaker CAnd we're recording at the end of a year.
Speaker CAnd it did not occur to me until I was so stacked that day that the only thing I could move Was, was the doctors visit and then I called the office and I had to breathe through the receptionist like answering the phone.
Speaker CAnd I was so worried that it was going to be inconvenient or she was going to have a bad attitude about it.
Speaker CAnd she was like, sure, what day do you need?
Speaker CBut, but it didn't occur to me until it was like the last resort option.
Speaker CIt's just knowing yourself.
Speaker CAnd I, I think as I get older I really realize how much I struggle with that moment of like, this might be inconvenient or uncomfortable for you, but it's what I need.
Speaker CAnd I think the difference is that I never even knew what I needed before.
Speaker CAt least now I'm noticing, oh, I think I need something and I'm making it more convenient for you.
Speaker CBut that's years of not even knowing what I needed.
Speaker CDoes that track, does that make sense?
Speaker AIt totally does.
Speaker ALike I just had a one on one yesterday with a member who's CEO is getting ready to sell the business and for tax purposes and like the look of the p. L Wanted to wait to pay out this person's bonus and was like, hey, you know, are you okay with that?
Speaker AAnd the person's like yeah, I'm fine with it.
Speaker AAnd then in our one to one the member was like, we had a lot of like expenses come up last minute that we weren't anticipating and it might impact our holidays because we just had this outflow of cash and it all kind of hit at once.
Speaker AIt was this tsunami.
Speaker AAnd then the question was like, well, why wouldn't you go back to the CEO and be like, hey, I don't need all of the bonus but I actually do need part of it.
Speaker AAnd that hadn't even.
Speaker AHe was, he was just like, what?
Speaker AAnd I was like, go ask for your money, man.
Speaker ALike you are doing that.
Speaker AThat person, that money is owed to you in theory, right?
Speaker ALike, yeah, not getting weird about it, but like it's something that would be paid in this year.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd so you are doing a favor by saying, I don't have any issue delaying.
Speaker ASo instead of saying I don't have any issue, let me my family be put out for the holidays, you would just go back and say, hey, I miscalculated.
Speaker AI actually need part of that and you don't have to pay me all of it.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AI just need this amount in order to be able to, you know, make this easy.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ABut like we are so.
Speaker AAnd he like one of the things of my goals for him in 2026 is.
Speaker AHe is literally the bottom rung of the ladder.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd I was like, can we just move you up a few?
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AAnd I think the thing, Paige, like, so many people think, like, when I talk about spaciousness, the thing that's irritating about it is, like, it has to be a habit.
Speaker CTell me more about that.
Speaker ASo I call.
Speaker AI call it like flexible discipline.
Speaker COkay.
Speaker ASo I don't need you to spend.
Speaker ALike, we think, like, oh, we're just going to do this retreat and we're going to recover and then we go back to our normal lives and we're like wildly over programmed and we don't have any space and our helium hand is active and we're doing all of these things.
Speaker AThings.
Speaker ABut if we can build in, like, spaciousness and it doesn't need to be like an hour a day.
Speaker ALike, if I can get you to, like, this member in particular loves archery.
Speaker ALike, if I can get you out on an archery range, like on a break.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AOr like, if you love reading and I can get you 15 minutes in a chair of reading where we just start to create, like this spaciousness and you feeling okay.
Speaker ABecause what happens is when we get overblown, like, we think that we're, like doing this great thing and we show up crappy.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CYeah, we do.
Speaker AAnd so all this help and love and we're doing it for all these other people and we're not showing up.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ABecause we're empty.
Speaker ASo, like, we feel like it's this like hugely self selfish thing and it's not.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ALike you're gonna show up better.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AIf you can take the time and.
Speaker AAnd it doesn't have to be like, you don't have to be on the archery range every day.
Speaker ALike, I have another member that's like a huge swimmer.
Speaker AI'm like, I don't need you in the pool every day.
Speaker AI need you maybe to like, walk for an extra 10 minutes this day.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd I want you to do a jigsaw.
Speaker ALike, so the flexible discipline is the discipline of getting something on the books daily or every other day.
Speaker AAnd then it can look like however you want it to look like.
Speaker AAnd it's not going to look the same every day.
Speaker AAnd it doesn't have to be at the same time and it doesn't have to be the same thing.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ABut it's like this practice around creating spaciousness so that as that gets bigger, you can drop into stillness and the moments of inspiration that you are desperately looking for will come.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike Shoeless Joe Jackson will walk out of the cornfield, but if you don't build the field, he's like, wandering around in the corn.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike, give him a field.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd that's what you were talking about earlier with once you have spaciousness, you have stillness.
Speaker ASo it is so interesting, like the peop.
Speaker AYou know, just like giving ourselves permission for that.
Speaker ABecause the other thing is, and I tell my members this all the time, as you move up in an organization, the level of stillness, time that you will need to tackle the challenges that are in front of you is going to increase.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ABecause you need to access that level of thinking.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ALike, do you know Doris Kearns Goodwin?
Speaker AAre you familiar with her?
Speaker CI don't think so.
Speaker AShe is a historian.
Speaker AShe wrote a Pulitzer winning book called Team of Rivals, but that is not the one I'm talking about.
Speaker AIt's brilliant.
Speaker AIt's about Lincoln and his Cabinet.
Speaker AWhatever.
Speaker ASo she wrote this other book.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ACalled Leadership in Turbulent Times, and she compared the presidencies of both Roosevelts, Lincoln and lbj.
Speaker AI think she actually even worked for lbj.
Speaker ASo she.
Speaker AHe's in all the books.
Speaker AAnd basically what she said and what she pointed out in these books is all four of those presidents had, like, crazy stuff going on.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ADuring their presidency.
Speaker AAnd all four of them were very clear on the fact that they needed time away.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AIn order to be able to access their highest and best thinking, to then bring it back to very turbulent times and situations.
Speaker ASo, you know, like Teddy Roosevelt's, like, cruising around on his horse in the badlands.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALike, these are where, you know, LBJ is off on his ranch in Texas.
Speaker ASo these are the, like, we see these, like, figureheads, and even they understood that we need spaciousness.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo, like, if they can do it, and they were like leaders of the.
Speaker CFree world, like, we can do it, too.
Speaker AWe can do it.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CI think about that so much in relationship, you know, helping people in their marriage or a relationship with a boss or relationship with a teenager.
Speaker CYou have to take time away to get your thoughts clear.
Speaker CI mean, I think sometimes we jump into it and it's like.
Speaker CIt's like what you were saying, motivation, you know, you're like, motivated.
Speaker CBecause I've got to say this thing and I have to prove that my side is right and they have to understand me.
Speaker COr in the parenting domain, it's like, I've got to draw the line and I have to tell the kid and I have to instill this value in the kid and Sometimes the answer is to go journal, you know, and figure out what your point of view is and just be with it.
Speaker CBecause oftentimes the relationship needs space instead of you jumping into it.
Speaker CIt needs to evolve, it needs to change, and it's.
Speaker CThat's a discipline.
Speaker CAnd I think that's a.
Speaker CWe have to have compassion for ourselves in that moment because it's more comfortable to maybe be in action and it's less comfortable to be trusting the whole scenario, trust the whole situation.
Speaker CTake the space, get stuck still, and give it a little breathing room.
Speaker CLiterally breathe life into it.
Speaker CAnd then you get inspired by your own understanding of something.
Speaker AYeah, I think that's totally true.
Speaker AI, like, we talk a lot about the fact there are very few conversations that must be had in one sitting if somebody is dying.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker AThen that would be an example where, like, you have to say what you need to say.
Speaker AAll of it right now.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ABecause that person is in the process of transitioning.
Speaker ABut so often we get caught up exactly in that and like, oh, my gosh, I have to say it right now, and this is the only chance that I'm going to be able to.
Speaker ALike, that's just not true.
Speaker BYeah, yeah.
Speaker ALike, the tough conversations, the difficult conversations, like, we did.
Speaker ALike, it's a process.
Speaker ALike, we can work through them a little bit at a time.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CI love how you talked about resilience towards the end when you were talking about the aspects of inspirational stories.
Speaker CResilience isn't a single moment.
Speaker CIt's a pattern in a posture.
Speaker CI think that's so key with what you're describing.
Speaker CYou don't have to do it in one conversation.
Speaker CYou don't have to do the heavy lift, heroic moment.
Speaker CIt's small moments of showing up.
Speaker ABecause it's like, when we think of resilience, it isn't, of course, like, oh, my gosh, the woman that lifts the car off of her baby.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ABut when we think about things that really inspire us, it's like the people that come back over and over and over and over again.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWhether it's like, on social media, do you see, like, an influencer who's, like, losing weight.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd they're working really hard to get a healthy body or a healthy lifestyle for them.
Speaker AAnd you see them over and over, like, every day.
Speaker AThe people that are like, here's my workout today.
Speaker AHere's my workout today.
Speaker ALike, that is wild.
Speaker AThat is dedication.
Speaker AIt's resilience.
Speaker CYeah, I loved that.
Speaker CI loved that idea.
Speaker CAnd there's so much unnoticed Unspoken, unacknowledged work in just being a human being.
Speaker AOh my gosh.
Speaker CI mean everything.
Speaker CJust making eye contact with a person, you know, at the coffee shop or holding the door for someone, you know, it just.
Speaker CWe think the world is falling apart.
Speaker CBut then you have all these moments.
Speaker CPeople are doing moments like that all day long and you have no idea if their body's in pain.
Speaker CYou have no idea if someone they love is dying.
Speaker CYou have no idea if they can make their payroll or their car payment and they're holding the door for you.
Speaker CYou know, it's beautiful to.
Speaker CIn fact, I get inspired by that.
Speaker CI really get inspired by interactions with strangers and humanity.
Speaker CLike the grace and the love and kindness that just humans show to one another.
Speaker CI could go a whole day and just observe that.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CWill you tell us if writing this book has connected you more deeply to inspiration?
Speaker CAre you finding that you're walking your talk and at least you know, you know what to do?
Speaker CI guess when you hit your blocks creates.
Speaker AI do.
Speaker CI know you journal.
Speaker CWe both are big journalers.
Speaker AI. I'm a sporadic journaler.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AI.
Speaker AThe thing.
Speaker ASo it's really funny.
Speaker AAnd I told him this was going to happen.
Speaker ASo I was on a walk with my neighbor Dave this morning and his dog White and we were talking about.
Speaker AI'd recently had a conversation with a friend.
Speaker ASo this week is the week for listeners.
Speaker AIt's the week before the holidays.
Speaker AI'm like, like many of us, we are sprinting into like slide into the holidays, right?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ASo I had a friend who was telling me like you're really over programmed and you're so busy and la la la la la.
Speaker AAnd I'm feeling overwhelmed and all this other stuff.
Speaker AAnd like I was talking to Dave like it's not a. I know it was came from a place of love, but in a moment when you're in overwhelm, when somebody's like, you're an overwhelm.
Speaker AI'm like, yeah, yeah, I got, I got you right.
Speaker AHe's like, well, isn't it funny?
Speaker ABecause he was like, well, are you overwhelmed throughout the year?
Speaker AAnd I was like, well, this year it was like my life plus book.
Speaker ASo a little bit.
Speaker AAnd he's like, isn't it so funny that you wrote this book about like people finding spaciousness and like what have you done for yourself this week?
Speaker AAnd I was like, oh, Dave.
Speaker CThat'S always how it is though.
Speaker CThat's always how it is.
Speaker ATotally.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo it is.
Speaker AIt's about one of the beautiful things.
Speaker AI don't know if you find this, too, about being a coach is that the mirror is constantly held up 100%.
Speaker CI think about this all the time.
Speaker CLike, the people with whom you are working, whether it's one on one in a group, anything.
Speaker CThe podcast guests, they say something, and you're like, that is exactly what I'm dealing with right now.
Speaker AIt's.
Speaker CIt's so crazy and beautiful.
Speaker AIt is.
Speaker AIt is.
Speaker AAnd, like, humbling also.
Speaker AAnd you're like, yeah, that in me.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ASo it is.
Speaker ALike, I tell my members all the time, like, I, to a person, have not yet had a member in December.
Speaker AI mean, I've done.
Speaker AI will do, I don't know, upward, like, 35, 36 ones this month yet.
Speaker AMale, female, old, young, big company, little, what does not matter.
Speaker AEverybody is like, right?
Speaker AAnd so I say, like, where are we creating space?
Speaker AAnd then, yet, you know, it takes Dave being like, so.
Speaker ASo d. Where's your space?
Speaker ALike, damn it, Jim.
Speaker ASo flexible discipline.
Speaker AFlexible discipline you got here.
Speaker CWe both been.
Speaker CThis hour has been so lovely.
Speaker CWe got gear.
Speaker CWe're in our home offices.
Speaker CI love our home offices.
Speaker AWe're drinking beverages.
Speaker CI love it.
Speaker CSo do you think you would take inspiration on a desert island if you only could take three virtues?
Speaker CI was thinking about that when I put your book down.
Speaker CI was like, I think I would take inspiration now, 100%.
Speaker CAnd I think I would take courage, which is another thing that you talk about towards the end of the book, because courage is like the doorway to so many other.
Speaker CIf you have courage, then you can be patient.
Speaker CIf you have courage, then you could be resourceful.
Speaker CBut I, you know, I was like, oh, point taken.
Speaker CLike, sparking greatness.
Speaker CIt really does make the case for inspiration in a way that's like, we can't live without it.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker CIt's that important.
Speaker AIt is.
Speaker AIt is really important.
Speaker AI had the opportunity when I was looking for blurbs for the book, I was reaching out to a lot of different people.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd so I had sent an email to Adam Grant and was like, why do you think people aren't covering this?
Speaker AAnd, like, what are your thoughts?
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd he was just like, you know, from a business perspective and a leadership perspective, which is the lens through which I wrote the book.
Speaker AHe was like, you know, inspiration's kind of squishy.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd so it's hard to be able to convince a lot of, like, really, you know, left brain people.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ALike, let's talk about inspiration.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker ABut it's so powerful.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AAnd it's very real.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd, yeah, it's just like, lights us up and it just.
Speaker AYou can live a completely uninspired life and live a really beautiful one.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ABut so much more beautiful.
Speaker CSo tell me one of the.
Speaker CThe big gifts of this book.
Speaker CWhat has it brought into your life?
Speaker CSomething that either you expected or surprised you.
Speaker ASo writing a book is, like, a labor of love.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd especially if you're like self publishing or hybrid publishing.
Speaker AIt's not like a financial.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWe.
Speaker AI do it.
Speaker AAnd I think if you talk to most authors, they would say the same.
Speaker ALike, I'm doing it for the impact.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd so.
Speaker ASo here's the crazy thing.
Speaker ALike, you write this book and it hatches.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd you're like, oh, your hatchet's so beautiful.
Speaker AOh, I love you so much.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd then it's time, once it hatches, to leave the nest.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd so what happens?
Speaker AYou're like, oh, like, when it leaves the next.
Speaker AWhat's going to happen?
Speaker ALike, are you going to, like, flail on the ground, like, and just, like, flop around on there or are you going to fly?
Speaker AAnd I've had a lot of moments where the book is flying.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd what that looks like is like, my freshman year college roommate.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASent me an email based on.
Speaker ABecause I have a newsletter that goes out every week based on a newsletter and was like, this was amazing.
Speaker AIt helped me so much.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker AOr I heard from.
Speaker AI got a text message yesterday from somebody who was like, I'm really loving this specific part of the book or this exercise really helped me, you know, so it's been like, I wrote it because I want.
Speaker AI want it to help.
Speaker ALike.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ALife isn't like.
Speaker ANobody ever said life was going to be easy.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ABut it's really beautiful, and it's made way more beautiful with inspiration.
Speaker AAnd so, like, if I can bring more inspiration and more beauty to people and that openness to it and, like, those connections and those ahas and those.
Speaker AThose blocks that were there that all of a sudden are cleared, even if it's just for a moment, it's like, that's why.
Speaker AThat's why we do it.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AAnd so I'm getting the feedback, like, from all these different corners of my life of people that this book is helping.
Speaker AAnd it is, like, wildly inspiring for me.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker ASo it's like, the best thing ever.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker AIt's so.
Speaker AIt like.
Speaker AOh.
Speaker AIt's like, one of the reasons I love coaching is, like, when you See the light bulb and people are like, oh, yeah.
Speaker AAnd I get, like unsolicited light bulbs every week from people.
Speaker AAnd I'm like, ah, yeah.
Speaker ABest thing ever.
Speaker AI was walking Rosie yesterday and it.
Speaker AThe sun was just coming up and it was like hitting this tree full of, like, little birds and one kind of angry hummingbird.
Speaker ABut the way the light was hitting the leaves, it was like, so beautiful.
Speaker AAnd then when we're present and I'm working on a keynote separately, and I had like this, like, in looking at the way the light was, like, hitting the curl of this leaf, I was like, oh, like, this is what the title of that keynote's gonna be.
Speaker AIt was like, the perfect moment.
Speaker ABut, like, I wasn't listening to a podcast, I wasn't listening to an audiobook.
Speaker AI wasn't on the phone.
Speaker AI wasn't like, yeah, the joy of giving yourself the spaciousness to take the dog on a walk.
Speaker AAnd then the stillness when you're on the walk to, like, look up and be like, oh, my gosh, this tree.
Speaker AAnd then.
Speaker AAnd then these things just, like, come down and it's really.
Speaker AYeah, it's really amazing.
Speaker CIt's really inspiring.
Speaker BI love the feeling of inspiration.
Speaker BAnd after reading Sparking Greatness and having.
Speaker CThis time with Danielle, I love that.
Speaker BI now understand inspiration can be intentional.
Speaker BWe can all be intentional in our pursuit of inspiration and use it as the powerful gateway to purpose, clarity, and presence that it is.
Speaker BSo here is our opportunity.
Speaker BSpaciousness.
Speaker BWhere can you create more space in your life?
Speaker B10 minutes here or there.
Speaker BFor me, it has a lot to do with putting away my phone and trying not to squeeze in a bunch of errands in between obligations.
Speaker BStillness.
Speaker BHow can you embrace stillness?
Speaker BMaybe in a way you haven't tried before.
Speaker CI know one of my habits I'm.
Speaker BImplementing this year is a more consistent meditation practice.
Speaker BI'm happy to meditate, and I can drop in and settle for many minutes, but I don't do it every day.
Speaker BI'm curious about how I would feel if I did.
Speaker BAnd I'm not starting with 10 minutes a day.
Speaker BI'm starting with two.
Speaker BAnd lastly, can you be more aware of the times you experience self forgetfulness?
Speaker BWe can't force self forgetfulness, but noticing the conditions gives us the awareness, and we can put ourselves in the position to potentially expand experience that state.
Speaker BYou know how you can eat something common like meat sauce or a hamburger or a slice of pizza, and sometimes every now and then, it's remarkably more delicious.
Speaker BThere's something about it that's unique.
Speaker BIt's got a certain flavor.
Speaker BThere's a secret ingredient.
Speaker BThat's what I think inspiration is to our lives.
Speaker BIt's a secret ingredient.
Speaker BIf you add it to your everyday life, it makes you way more productive, more curious and creative, and much more deeply connected to purpose and perspective.
Speaker BIt makes us more alive.
Speaker BI love that Danielle's book Sparking Greatness makes inspiration an ingredient that is not so secret.
Speaker BThere's a way to invite it, cultivate it, and use it to live and lead fully.
Speaker BAnd that way is beautifully and clearly outlined for us.
Speaker BThank you Danielle for bringing us this message.
Speaker BThere are frameworks, tools and practical exercises in this book that have really stuck with me and unlocked some much needed motivation that I'm using in my everyday life now.
Speaker BOf course I loved this time with you.
Speaker BIt makes sense to me that you found success leading people to their presence and purpose because you bring presence and purpose to your own life.
Speaker BI'm inspired by you and your work, as are many others, and I'm grateful for your voice, your words, your creativity and your big heart in this world.
Speaker BThank you for meeting me and our listeners here, sharing your journey with us with such honesty and authenticity, and reminding us what is actually available when we notice the trees and walk the dog with our eyes up.
Speaker BYou can find out more about Danielle in the show notes and order your copy of Sparking Greatness wherever books are sold.
Speaker BOkay y', all, that's it for now.
Speaker BI'll meet you here again soon.
Speaker BThanks to each of you for being.
Speaker CHere and for listening.
Speaker CI'm so grateful we get to share life in this way.
Speaker CAs always, full show notes are available@paigenolan.com podcast there you will find a full screen summary of the episode, timestamps and key takeaways, and any resources mentioned in our conversation.
Speaker CIf you enjoyed this episode, I'd love if you would leave me a rating and a review.
Speaker CYou can do that by visiting paige nolan.com forward/love your reviews.
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Speaker CI'll meet you there with your friends.
Speaker CLastly, lastly, if you have any questions or comments, or if you would like to share any feedback with me, Please email to meetmethereagenolan.com I would love to hear from you.
Speaker CThank you to the team that makes this show possible.
Speaker CPodcast Production and Marketing by North Node Podcast Network Music by Boyd McDonnell Cover Photography by Innis Casey okay y' all.
Speaker CThat's it for now.
Speaker CI'll meet you you there again soon.