2: Beth LeManach - Cooking and Entertaining As An Act of Love

00:00 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I really like to start in the kitchen. That's where I wanna start with. You is back in the kitchen, and can you tell us a little bit about your first memories of the kitchen growing up?

00:10 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yeah, yeah for sure. So my dad loved to cook, so he was always in the kitchen. Mom not so much, but dad was always cooking on the weekends, and so some of my earliest memories are in the kitchen with my sister and my dad making pizzas or making Christmas cookies or really anything that would make a huge mess. Not that I think about it. I'm like why was he having us do that? But like those were just fun, he didn't mind a mess. I guess he didn't mind oh, that's great.

00:38 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, no, because my mom was probably the one cleaning in the house. Exactly, yeah, so he didn't care. Probably Did he grow up cooking as well.

00:45 - Beth LeManach (Host)

He did. So he was one of five kids. He was the youngest of a Italian-American family, so my grandmother cooked all the time, like everything was from scratch. They cooked all the time, although he tells me that my grandmother used to push everybody out of the kitchen and so my aunts. I grew up not knowing how to cook because the mom was like, I mean, can you imagine a family of five? Like she didn't want all these kids underfoot. And then it was years later that she actually learned how to cook. But I think he just always loved food and then, as he, I guess, was a bachelor and then married my mom, like he just always loved to cook. I think it was a way he relaxed and because he's so creative, like it was just another creative outlet.

01:29 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Did you guys grow up eating Italian food?

01:32 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Oh yeah, you know, like the simple stuff, the Parmesan, you know the eggplant Parmesan, the chicken Parmesan, spaghetti, pasta, dishes, pizzas.

01:41 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Was he your first teacher? Did he teach you how to cook, or was it more? You absorbed the environment around you. It's absorbing.

01:49 - Beth LeManach (Host)

That wasn't really a teacher in the funny sense of the world, like I think I'm. I love the teaching part of what I do, like I think I'm a natural teacher. I just love that part of it. But dad has always been just like throw yourself in there and this is just do it by watching or you could do it without telling me. And we always have this joke because he's like you're always looking for like tab A goes into tab B. He's like I'm not gonna tell you that, just just go on out there and figure it out. Yeah, that only gives the patience for the teaching part of it.

02:20 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, and then, in that, there's an openness to whatever comes out, I think there's an openness to the outcome, which is really beautiful to have had that influence.

02:30 - Beth LeManach (Host)

No, that's true. I think my first job when I was 16, well, it was really I was 15 and I went to this local bakery that I loved and it was right around Thanksgiving time and they needed people to make pies. They were like desperate. So I got a job before I was 16 and they were just like don't tell anybody.

02:46 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I love it.

02:47 - Beth LeManach (Host)

So and I started making pies. Yeah, and I think I really learned a lot about cooking, working in that bakery the pies, the breads, the cakes, the cookies, like all of that as far as baking, and then really with my husband's family because nobody speaks a word of English.

03:00

And the only way you could really connect was in the kitchen, because it's a simple way to spend time together but you're not having to use a lot of big vocabulary. It's here peel this for me, or chop this, or just sort of a fun way to connect with people.

03:12 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, I think that's so true too, if you've ever had a family gathering where there's different age groups and everybody's not totally connected yet you play a game. So cooking is like that, where it's like an experience that transcends language or reference points for all the different age groups. And then, all of a sudden, everybody's like way more loose and lighthearted and bonded. Yeah, so when do you remember cooking for yourself as a young woman, like in college or after college in your 20s? Were you already connected to it then?

03:45 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I was. When I went off to college. I had to earn my own spending money, so I always worked in restaurants because I liked to be around food. So I just started to kind of cook, I think from that and yeah, in college, and having roommates and wanting to sort of recreate the Sunday night dinners that I used to have as a kid at home, like that was just a really special ritual, and wanting to do that with my roommates and it was simple stuff, but we were still cooking?

04:10 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, and the fact that on a Sunday night, if you can get your roommates together and cook something delicious for them, who wouldn't want to do that on a Sunday night, when you're used to eating AppleJacks or whatever, are we all at Bola Wright in college? Yes, exactly.

04:23 - Beth LeManach (Host)

And I think it's a good way to hit reset and I notice I do the same thing for my own kids. It's just a good way to sort of start the week to get everybody together. But I think it wasn't until I really moved in with my sister our first sort of apartment, that we were in our young 20s that we would host these little cocktail parties or dinner parties Again, simple stuff. But because we'd always grown up with family that had entertained, because my dad was one of five and my mom was one of five, so these were like huge family gatherings and I just thought everybody's family did that. Like I think that's sort of funny when you grow up and then you go out in the world and you're like, oh, people aren't doing these big holidays. Or you spend a holiday at someone else's house and you're like, oh, everybody's like bringing the store about stuff.

05:05

Like okay, all right, that's how they do it. But, like at our house, it was, everything was from scratch. And I do that too with my holidays. And I sort of turned to my girls this Thanksgiving because I saw them looking at me and I'm running around the kitchen and I was like you know what? You don't need to recreate this, like when you grow up and you're like want to have Thanksgiving.

05:23

Don't feel with the pressure to do this because this is like at a different level, like people have to really be obsessed with food and cooking and the cleaning to do everything from scratch. It's something that I love, but I don't expect them to grow up and love it as much as. I do Because it's a total work.

05:38 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, and you're giving them a reference point. Not everybody's family is like this.

05:43 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yes, right.

05:44 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, I had a similar experience growing up from New Orleans. I remember getting to I went to college in Nashville and I remember getting there around February, freshman year I'm like, oh, expecting to have a week off for Mardi Gras. You know, like, just because there's so much culture in New Orleans and there's so much about that city that you don't realize is so unique, and you know, of course there's no Mardi Gras in Nashville, but it's still like my body was used to having a couple of breaks, like you have a week off in February and you have a week off around Easter for spring break. So, yes, I remember having that wake up call.

06:16

Did you do a?

06:17 - Beth LeManach (Host)

little Mardi Gras. Oh, we loved doing Mardi Gras.

06:20 - Paige Nolan (Host)

And the whole city is revolving around food. So we would have red beans and rice on Monday, which is a very classic, you know, day to a very traditional time to have red beans and rice on a Monday in New Orleans, and then, I think, just the city itself, there's so much value and emphasis around gathering, you know, and festivity and party and drinking and food, and where are you going to eat, and restaurants, so I didn't even realize that that was unique. You know, food is a part of everybody's culture, it's a part of everybody's life. But I think when you're from the specific kind of background, whether it's New Orleans, whether it's the French culture, whether it's Italian culture, you know it adds its own flavor.

07:02

So I know that experience of thinking, oh, everybody's family isn't like this and that being a little surprising. So you move in with your sister and your 20s and I know you started getting involved in production right away in your 20s and this is around the time. I think your dad right invited you to tell us about that first job experience and traveling with him.

07:25 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yes. So he had just signed, he's an interior designer and had just sold one of the first shows to HDTV. So this was in the early 90s and I didn't even know what it was. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, to be honest. But he said look, I just got the show. I need a set decorator. You should come work for me. I was like dad, I don't even know the first thing about that.

07:45

It was typical dad like no, it's fine, you can do it. And I'm like what if I don't? You know? I remember having like a total meltdown the night before I was supposed to be on the set, like leading a group of 10 interns. I was like I don't even know what I'm doing. He's like you'll figure it out, you'll figure it out. And I was like okay, and yeah, he was right, I figured it out. And then shortly after that he got another show which involved traveling. So it was a show called the world of design and over the course of probably two to three years we went to 16 different countries and it was an amazing yeah, it was an amazing way to see the world on someone else's dime.

08:16 - Paige Nolan (Host)

For one thing.

08:17 - Beth LeManach (Host)

And when you have a job that actually takes you there, it's amazing. And because my dad and I love food and we love to eat after the show wrapped for the day and we were done shooting, we would want to find out, like, what are the best restaurants in town? Like we're in Berlin, where should we go to eat? Or we're in the French Riviera, like where should we go have the bouillabaisse? Like, and I think that that really exposed me to all different types of cuisine and all types of different people and food, and that's, I think, what really ignited the fire of food with me and what was happening at the same time as I had gotten married.

08:48

And I think once you have someone to cook for, you're even more motivated to cook and create a home and create special meals and of those 16 countries, do you have a preference?

08:59 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Did you already feel like you were preferring some cultures to other, or some types of foods to other foods?

09:05 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I well, I think, culturally, I always am just gravitated to Europe, to France and to Italy. There's just so much there and I think that's just the way I love to eat Is that sort of Mediterranean type cuisine with pasta and some rich sauces thrown in from France. But like I love that. But I think in traveling with my dad, one of the most memorable trips was the trip we took to Japan, because it was so foreign from us and it was so interesting to go to the Udon noodle houses and try what Udon tasted like, or to be in a restaurant where you're literally sitting on tatami mats and your feet are going like in, a, like a well, you're not sitting in a chair Like. It just was such an amazing experience. And to experience that with my father, I think, was just such a wonderful opportunity to see who he was and what he thought was interesting, what I thought was interesting. We still talk about it to this day.

10:03 - Paige Nolan (Host)

How much fun it was oh that's beautiful when you traveled to these countries back then or even now. Who do you ask for these recommendations, like, who are the people to ask? Cause I always just Google. This is why I'm learning so much from you, cause I'm the exact opposite. I'm like I'll just go to the, you know, the most well reviewed place or the place that everybody else is going. I'm not very original.

10:26 - Beth LeManach (Host)

But that works too. I think when we did the show we were interviewing all of these top designers, so anybody who had a sense of taste or style and lived in the city, like they, would always know where to go eat. Like that was the easiest thing to do is to ask those people. But when I think, like my husband and I are in France, we usually will ask people we know, or sometimes just even if you go into a great restaurant that you think is really great, ask them where they like to go.

10:51

Because sometimes you can find like more local places, like where, and just be specific, Like where would you go for the best crepe or where would you go for the best pastry or the best bread? Because I think people are, especially in France, very opinionated of who's making the best baguette and they'll just tell you. And I think you have to start with a place that's already proven itself as either delicious or really quality bread. Ask that person where's the best cheese?

11:17 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Because they're gonna know. You know, yeah, I love that. Did you meet Philippe, your husband, who is French? Did you meet him on one of those trips? Or you met him in America?

11:27 - Beth LeManach (Host)

No, the funny thing is I met him here in LA. He was doing a garden show. He designs and manufactures garden triage. It's a French sort of architecture and my dad, who's the designer, saw it and wanted to put it in a show house. And I remember thinking, oh dad, the house stuff looks really expensive. I don't think he's gonna wanna donate all this stuff for free. And my dad is like the original salesman. He's like, oh yeah, no, he will, it was great. And so he came to the office at the time I was working with my dad and he said don't you wanna meet the Frenchman? I said no, I don't wanna meet the Frenchman, not like it was my worst subject. Like you go meet him it's fine.

12:00 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Does he wanna introduce you for a potential romantic connection? Like he was already thinking like that. Okay.

12:05 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yeah, because I was single for a long time. I was like my early 20s, because I was traveling. I spent seven years traveling, working in the design center, like I just wasn't meeting anybody. And my dad is this sort of you know, traditional Sicilian character and he's always like I, like the way it was in the old days where the fathers picked the men. I think it just needs to work that way and we would joke and I'm like dad, please. And so the day that he met the lead, he came running back into the office and he was like you have gotta meet this guy.

12:33

I have met your husband, I'm like dad, please. He's like no, you've gotta meet him and I wouldn't go down there. I was like no, I'm not enough with you with your matchmaking. So he brought him into the office and then, when I met him, I was like, oh yeah, he's a drunk.

12:45 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah.

12:47 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I was like oh, you're so cute. So then I was like what do you want me to do with this? Like I just met this random stranger, I'm not gonna, you know. So my dad, like I think it was like two weeks later, easter was coming up.

12:56

No, it was Thanksgiving is coming up and he said I'm going to invite Philippe for Thanksgiving because he's all alone, he has nowhere to go. And I'm like dad, he's French, he doesn't even celebrate Thanksgiving Like it's not a big deal, he's fine. He's like no, no, no. So finally I talk him out of that. And then Easter comes around. He's like, well, I'm inviting him for Easter. I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, dad. So I invited him for Easter and we obviously like hit it off and got along. And then you know, we became friends, we had a lot of rollerblading dates and movie dates and stuff. And then you know, within a few months, romance blossomed and that's it.

13:24 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Two kids later, two daughters, two businesses. Right Is Philippe's family in France you mentioned earlier. Like really sinking into that French culture? Tell us about learning about that culture from the perspective of family choosing to you know a spouse of that culture? Does anybody?

13:42 - Beth LeManach (Host)

speak English Well I no yeah. And this is the real karmic joke of it all because my sister and I were in the same French class in high school.

13:51

I don't know why, why they put us in the same class, but they did and we talked through the whole thing and I remember the teacher being like can't you guys talk at home? Like, why are you talking in my class? And it was just horrible, it was my worst subject and I just remember thinking what am I going to need this for? Like, this is so, like, why am I being tortured? Right, cut to like years later and I could have really used it and so we would go every other Christmas. That was the thing. We would go every other Christmas and we were married over there.

14:16

Because I realized when he took me over to meet his family so we'd been dating for like two years and he says, okay, I really want you to meet my family, you have to come with me to France. I hadn't been to France since I well, no way I was with my dad. But I took like one trip when I was 16 and then a trip with my dad in my early twenties and I said, okay, all right. And he said they don't speak any English. I'm like, okay, I'm just going to try it. And it was the most like ridiculous thing. We stayed with them. So everything from where are the towels? Can I help with the dishes? Like, may I have a glass of water, Like it all had to be this really bad French and I just realized if I am going to spend my life with this man. And at this point I knew that he was the one.

14:52

I'm going to learn this language Like this is not going to be funny, Like I cannot.

14:55 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, you can't wing it yeah.

14:57 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Like you can't wing it. So we I got a teacher and I did every Saturday private French classes for probably six years or so.

15:06

And in the middle of this, we decided to get married in France, because I knew that our children, we wanted to live in the States and so much of our history would be the United States and we really, as parents, wanted to make sure that our children fell at home in both cultures. So I wanted part of our story, like a big part of our story, to be in France, so that they felt like there was an equal amount of like, oh, mom and dad's history in France and mom and dad's history here, and we thought, oh, we'll get out of having like a small wedding because a lot of Americans are not going to come all the way to France, and we had like 60.

15:39 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Americans. They all got on the first flight. They were like we're coming Destination wedding, so so much for that. What do you think helps for somebody listening who is interested? Because I know there's someone listening who's got to be interested in a new language. I think that's something that comes up a lot of times in our life. A lot of us have children at home who are taking foreign languages for credit in high school or college. What helped you to master a language and are you glad that you're bilingual? Oh yeah.

16:07 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yeah, it was the best investment I've ever made in myself. Like, seriously, when I look back now, 20 years later, it's still not perfect. You know, I say it's enough to get in and out of trouble, you know, but it's helped in so many ways, like I think my biggest piece of advice is take a class.

16:25

You need to know how the language works, because all languages work in a certain way. So, like the six years that I spent I don't think it would take someone six years, it's just I was only doing it on Saturdays. But going through all the first, going through all the verbs how do they all conjugate? Like I really needed all of that first. And then you reach a certain amount of proficiency and you're like okay, and then it's time to go throw yourself in the wild. You have to go to a situation where nobody speaks any English. So like, if it's French, I would avoid Paris, I would avoid the south of France, I would go to like the middle of the country, or I would go down to like Vendée, where nobody is speaking any English, because it's through that survival mechanism that you pull out words you didn't even know, you knew, you knew.

17:06

Like you, will you? It's just so much better. And then you have to go back in the cave again and do the classes and then you have to go back in the wild. So you have to go back and forth like that and don't think you're going to speak right away, because even babies, when they learn to talk, they're, they're understanding everything for the first two years of their life. They don't actually.

17:27 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Right, it's all receptive. Yes, it's all receptive.

17:30 - Beth LeManach (Host)

So, like, just spend a lot of time listening and don't listen to things like the television or the radio, because you'll just get so frustrated, like it's so fast, you'll just think I'm never going to learn this language. Just sit and listen to conversations like people talking. And that was the best for me, because I was stuck at these dinner tables for sometimes six hours. These meals would go on to the point where it would start at noon and then it would wrap up by six and then people be putting away the last dishes and then it would be like, okay, let's start drinks for dinner. Now I'm like, oh my gosh, we're going to go through this again. But I spent a lot of time with children and that would be my other piece of advice. Like children are so forgiving, they're not judgy.

18:05

They just want to play with you and you don't care if you mispronounce things, because they just think it's fun. And for the first couple of visits I spent a lot of time with my nieces and nephews sitting around the table coloring because it was like, oh, let's draw a tree. And it was like at my level, and it was perfect.

18:21 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I studied in Florence my junior year, the fall semester of my junior year of college, and I was so determined to memorize the language. I approached it the exact opposite of what you're describing, because it's vulnerable, you know, to really to a culture. I lived with an Italian family, so I would listen and we would have dinners together, but I was very, you know, I had the Italian classes I was taking and I approached it more methodically. And I was standing at the bus stop I remember this very vividly and this man asks me what I now understand to be how long have you been waiting for the bus? And I thought he had asked me how long I had been in Florence, and so I gear up and I'm like I spit back to him like a series of sentences that I had mastered.

19:09

It was like my name is Paige, I am a student, I am from America, and he was just. I mean, I think he got to the point where, in English, she was like how long have you been here? And I'm like, oh, I've been standing here 10 minutes.

19:23 - Beth LeManach (Host)

It was very American, Well and I think that there's a very American ball. But I think it speaks to as we, as we age and as an adult. We don't want to look foolish. We want to do things every way Right and like. If you're going to learn a language, you have to realize that you're going to be reduced to like a big, you're going to feel like an idiot.

19:41

And like if you're not okay feeling that way. You will not learn the language, because you learn the most from making mistakes. I can't tell you like how many times I've been in a language, how many times I've made a bad mistake and been the butt of every joke, of people laughing hysterically, but like I'll never make that mistake again. You know now I know the word for boy is not the word for girl.

20:03

You know, like when I was learning the words were I confused the words and like I just think that that's so much a part of it. Like you just have to feel vulnerable and also it's not all going to sound perfect. Like start with just the subject and the verb, you don't need to do the past tense, you don't need to like you'll, you'll speak like Tarzan, but people will know what you mean and that gives you a lot of confidence.

20:26 - Paige Nolan (Host)

And to keep it playful and then you can work on perfecting it. Sorry, you can keep it playful too. I think there's there's an intensity around learning being a beginner as an adult. Whatever the skill set is, you know whether it's language, whether it's cooking, whether it's picking up a new sport, it's very hard to keep it light. You know and remember that everybody is learning. What can you tell us about the French culture? What do you appreciate about it? Where do you think we could benefit from being more French?

20:56 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Totally. My husband and I talk about this a lot because our dream has always been to retire in France, and I always laugh. I said you've been here so long he's been here about 30 years and I said I think that you will love that. But there will be things that you have taken from Rannet about the United States that you will not love.

21:11 - Paige Nolan (Host)

So one of the things that I think.

21:14 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well, yes, you guys, but I think the thing both Okay, I think the thing that's great about France is that they're. The French are very direct, you always know where you stand, like.

21:24

Americans have a people pleasing mentality, because we never want to be rude to anybody, we never want to tell somebody what we think, and so we spend a lot of time people pleasing and being, as Philippe would say, like insincere, because we don't want to offend anybody, but, like in France, if you went into a dress shop this is true story, by the way go into the stress shop and I see this really cute dress and I'm like, oh, I love that. And the woman says to me in French oh yeah, that's great for you, but you don't have the chest for that dress. Let me point you to something that's better.

21:56

My husband thinks this is the funniest thing and I was like, oh okay, where is in the United States we would say, oh yeah, that dress is going to be great on you. We wouldn't even like because you want to just close the sale. Like you probably would not be that honest. Hey, because that's like a weird thing to say and you probably don't want to offend somebody. But two, it's about making the money. Like she didn't care about losing the sale because she couldn't help tell me that like and I don't know she's probably right, it probably wasn't the dress.

22:19 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, I thought she's good at her job. She can assess the clothing.

22:22 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yeah, but so that's why when she says something looks great on me, I know that she's telling me the truth, because she just you know. So I think the French are very good in that way. They're very direct, and sometimes people think that is rude, and I think that's why the French have gotten the bad rap over the years that oh the French are so rude, but they're just dressed, you know.

22:43

So, and then the other thing that I think we take for granted in the United States and the more that I travel, the more that I see that this is sort of unique to the US is we're such a service oriented country because of the fact that a lot of the service businesses work for Tiff, so or we're just like kind of eager to please, probably because of the capitalist nature of wanting to close a sale or make money.

23:07

If you went into a restaurant and it was busy and you saw, could you take a table of six?

23:12

Like a small restaurant is probably going to figure out a way to accommodate that, because that's going to be a big bill. So they would say, well, no, we're busy right now, but can we get you a drink at the bar? Or, you know, we can serve some appetizer, like they would kind of get to the point where you would want to stay, whereas in France, like we've had several situations where we've done that and they would just be like, oh, no, see, publicity, yes, you know, like you just can, and then the Americans will think, oh, that's so rude, but it's like no, it's not possible, because they're at max and they're not going to be able to give everybody good service if they start to take more than they can accommodate, you know, or the Americans will like go to the next level, they'll be like no, I'm sorry I don't have that, but you might try this, like we'll kind of give another. But sometimes in France it's like no we don't have that.

23:55 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Gosh, it's really nice to hear what's great about America. I have to just pause and say for a minute I know Because we are going through a lot of changes as a country right now, so it's nice to hear that we have these wonderful things about us that you will appreciate if you move to France one day when you're older.

24:13 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yes, I mean, there's like silly things. Like I was in Trader Joe's around Thanksgiving when it was totally crazy Like the place was a madhouse, but still there is a man there bagging my groceries and asking me if he can take me to the car to load them for me, like in France that would never happen. Like you're bagging your own groceries in France, like their checker is sitting down and they're bagging it and it's sort of like that. I love Lucy thing.

24:40

If you don't put it in your bag, like it's piling up and the people are giving you dirty looks and if you forget your bag, it's like too bad, like there's not that element of like, service of like. Let me help you for free, yeah exactly, yeah, okay.

24:55 - Paige Nolan (Host)

So take us back to you've. Now you're married, you're in America. How do you get more interested and committed to this path that you're on now, where you're producing your own shows, you're entertaining with Beth? Take us through into that part of your life.

25:10 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yes, well, it's funny because I do believe with these career paths, when you're in it, it all feels like nothing's making sense, like you're jumping here, you're jumping there, especially your early 20s, and people will look at you like what are you doing? Like you keep bouncing around, but when you look back on it you're like, oh my gosh, that made perfect sense, like I could never be doing what I'm doing now had I not done a few you know, a different like bounce around.

25:33

So after working for my dad for seven years, I finally realized that like I felt like I just wanted a corporate job, yeah, like I wanted my little cubicle. I wanted to work for a company, I wanted the performance reviews and like that sounds like people try to get out of that and I go. I know, but I'm young, I'm in my 20s, I feel like I need that. So I worked for Scripps Productions, which was the production company that was producing all of this um, hgtv content, food network content, and they asked me if I wanted a staff position for them and I said, yeah, I'd love that. So I was producing just lifestyle shows for food network, hgtv, diy, fine living, everything from travel shows to craft shows, to food shows, to design shows.

26:12

So I did that for a while and then, uh, 9-11 happened and they had to shut down this production arm. Like everything just sort of imploded and they just didn't have the money to have like both of these two production facilities that they had. So the closed LA. And at that point I was like, okay, I need to get involved in digital Like.

26:30 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I think you could see it coming.

26:32 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I could see it coming because all the lifestyle content now was turning more reality based and I just was not a reality producer. I wasn't interested in it. I was more interested in the teaching part of, like the cooking shows or the travel shows, like the how to, and I saw a lot of this how to going online and so, long story short, I worked for a few other production companies that was still doing how to things also in television, but also doing like digital components to it, and then I finally just took the leap and did like an all digital media company and I was doing lifestyle content for them, because they had all these digital people producing for YouTube but didn't know lifestyle. So they're like oh you, confirmation TV, you know lifestyle. So it was like the perfect thing and I think in life when you have a new opportunity, that feels familiar. So, like I had this lifestyle background, it felt familiar, but it was digital, which was totally new yes.

27:26

That is the perfect combination where you can go on your strength, because they're hiring you for your strength, but you're actually going to learn a new skill. Oh, that's beautiful. That I think is yeah, that's really great. So I would always say, like, take the job that gives you a new skill, that gives you some familiarity, where you have some authority, because you won't feel so out of place and I think for me, like I didn't feel out of place like asking the dumb questions about digital and YouTube, because they were asking me the dumb questions about

27:51

how do you shoot a cooking demo, you know, so that kind of thing. So it was good and we I was there for about a year and then we got a grant from YouTube. Youtube invested I don't know if they say it's like $200 million in 2011. So, yeah, so YouTube invested like $200 million, they say, on the platform to get advertisers to start advertising against YouTube videos, because a lot of people just thought it was like funny cat videos Right.

28:18

And they were like no, we have, you know, lifestyle content. We have to up the content. So they started funding all of these media companies to produce content. And that's when my boss was like okay, we have this funded channel, we have to do 40 hours of programming, which doesn't sound that much from a television point of view, but when you're talking about like three minute five minute videos.

28:36

It was a ton of video and come up with content that moms are going to love and he's like you're a mom, like what a mom's going to watch on YouTube? I don't really know, because I didn't really know much about. Youtube yeah.

28:46 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well it, I thought. Well, I had a little bit ahead of the curve too. This time it isn't as excluded as it has now, right Is that's?

28:53 - Beth LeManach (Host)

my understanding of it.

28:54 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah.

28:56 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Which is why I think I was a little confused, like I don't know, like what are we going to do? Like. So I just took the page from television and thinking, like okay, I think moms are always going to be interested in the cooking, the fashion, the parenting, maybe a little bit of travel, crafting, like I think we still need all those verticals. But the way I wanted to shoot it was different. Like I didn't want to be in a studio, I wanted everything to be in real people's homes. I didn't want hosts, I wanted like real women, like women that I knew, you know, I wanted like the chic mom at drop off who always looked cute. I wanted her to do the you know fashion things. I wanted like food stylists that I had known, like put them on camera and talk about like great recipes they're feeding their families with, and so. So that part was really fun and we just, you know, updated all the cameras we were shooting more with, like the DSLR cameras, to make it look more real, like real life, but just a little bit prettier, rather than like traditional, like video cameras.

29:49

And so I did that for a while and then we realized we were short on our hours, like we had a certain amount of time that we had to do all this content. And then we're like, oh my gosh, what are we going to do? And I said, well, I think we just need to do like 30 minute shows, like we used to do for TV, and just like whack these hours down. And then we're like, well, who are we going to get to host 30 minute shows? And I was like, well, I think we should do like entertaining. Because as we were putting all this content out, I realized there was this whole generation that was on YouTube that had never didn't really know who Martha Stewart was.

30:16

Like I'd never grown up with Ina Garten, like all these people that had inspired me. You know these girls that were like coming out of college, like that's who their mom thought Like they, but they were on YouTube and so they were looking for content on YouTube. So I said let's just do like parties, like let's show them like here's the appetizer and here's the main and the dessert and here's how you put it all together. And my boss was like all right, if you think that's going to whack off all this time, go ahead. So I started hosting these entertaining things and I did like probably 13 to 15 of these, you know, thanksgiving for rookies and the Mother's Day brunch and all of this like easy kind of thing. And it started to do really well and I just realized like there's a whole generation of people that do not know this information of how to throw a party and the timing and what goes with what, like you're not going to serve sangria with I don't know. You know Asian peanut noodles.

31:05 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, I think also what's so interesting about that is how intuitive it was for you. You know it was like something that it's like all of your experience. It's your experience traveling with your dad, it's what you naturally grew up around and it's just how you see and think about entertaining. It's very natural to you. So I imagine that that part of it must have felt fun in a way. I mean, let's talk to us about imposter syndrome. I mean, were you in the situation where you were above and over your head?

31:38 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well, it's funny, I think you start to get imposter syndrome when you start to get more successful. Yeah, because when no?

31:45

one's really watching you're just laughing because you just think it's a hoot and you're kind of like, okay, this is fun, let's just see what this is like. And I had just bought a house my husband and I just bought a house and so I started entertaining a lot more. I started hosting the Thanksgiving and the Christmases for my family, and I was still learning, so I was still making a ton of mistakes, and I think that is the best teacher is like oh no, don't do this ahead of time, because this is what's going to happen when you do. And I realized that was going into the cooking demos and how that made it really great for people, because they were like, oh, she's telling us what to do, but also, more importantly, what not to do, because I was learning all along with them in some way. It was probably like five years ahead of the audience, but I was still learning, and so I think that really helped.

32:28

And then my boss was like, wow, well, these things are doing really well. Do you want to start your own channel? And I said, yeah, you know, I'd really love to start my own channel. Let's see what this looks like. And it was part of my job, so I would have the crew come to my house. They would shoot everything, they would edit it all and all I had to do was come up with the recipes. I was like the YouTube trust fund baby.

32:48 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I didn't have to pay for any of it.

32:50 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I just got to do all the fun part, you know which was not the real world, is not like how YouTube typically works. And then, a few years down the road, my boss was like, well, this is great, and I had gotten about 50,000 subscribers at this point. And he said but you know, we can't really afford to do this. We need you to work on some other things. But you can have, the channel will just stay a minority partner if you want to continue with it. And so I was like, oh, now I'm going to have to learn how to like shoot all this myself. I'm going to have to edit all myself. Like, how am I going to do this? And I think that was just a real crossroad. I could have just said, oh, forget this. Or I could have done what I did, which is like oh, I've already sunk all this time and I've already had a certain amount of success. I should probably keep going, and do you?

33:30 - Paige Nolan (Host)

feel that moment was the keep going out of the history and the commitment to it that you had thus far earned, like your hard earned lessons? Or was the keep going also because you had a vision for what you could contribute?

33:45 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yeah, I think it was both. Really, I think it was like oh, I put all this time and effort into it, I should probably keep going. But then I remember driving down the freeway one day and thinking like this maybe is what I'm supposed to do Like maybe I'm actually supposed to keep going because maybe in success this replaces this nine to five grind.

34:06

That's just about killing me. Because I had two small kids at home. I had like a one year old and a four year old. I was commuting two hours a day and I just kept thinking like what does this look like when they're teenagers? And I really want to be around for that. It's funny. Like I think a lot of people think, oh, you want to be around when your kids are young and you know, but I don't know.

34:28

I think that they need you then, but I think they need you more when they did the middle school hits and the high school hits when, like, as a mom, I want to be the one navigating through, you know, the mean girl stuff and the what does this mean? Or somebody called me that, what does that mean? And the social media and all of that. Like that just seems trickier to farm off. To like a babysitter as opposed to the babysitter when they're little, cooking them dinner, giving them the bat Like that just seemed easier. So I just kept thinking like I want to be a stay at home mom when I'm when they're older.

34:59 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I think part of the experience of motherhood in that way is being around in the unexpected times when your kids are older, to not miss, when they're ready to share, you know, when they're younger they're full of story and observation and you can control bedtime and you can kind of facilitate an activity that's going to put them at ease, and then maybe you know you're playing and building a memory and all of that goes out the window when they're real adult. You know young adults and they have an agenda of their own and it's really important for them to have friends and define themselves, and define themselves differently from you. Just like you going to say to your dad your experiential dad, I really need the nine to five job. That totally makes me smile, isn't that like parenting? I'm listening to stories about your dad thinking how cool to have a parent like that and you say to him actually, dad, I want to go get behind a desk.

35:55 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I need my cubicle.

35:56 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I need more structure and he right, it's so classic.

35:59 - Beth LeManach (Host)

But then it does take the long way around, because now I think it was because he lived this creative life that he normalized it so that when I actually gave me the courage to say you know what? I don't need this job. Like, if I can figure this out, I actually can also live the creative life. Because I saw him do it.

36:18 - Paige Nolan (Host)

You know, yeah, I think that's the thing too. There's so much in our lives, whether it's from our childhood homes, our parents or our friends. You know our people around us, where we absorb the way that they're living, not what they tell us to do. Just the way that they're living, because if you see somebody living in a way that you haven't figured out yet, you haven't cracked the code how to live that way but it seems attractive to you.

36:43

It feels like something that you want to experience. That person is is hope embodied. It's like, well, I can do it if they can do it.

36:52 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well, it's that old adage.

36:53

If you can see it you can be it you know, and I I'm very conscious of that with my daughters because, especially with production and photography, it's always been a very and video production has been like very male dominated. And I think you know when they would see these crews show up, it was all a bunch of guys, you know, that would show up with the cameras and the thing, and so when they heard that I was going to have to try to figure this out myself, they were like you're, you're going to do that. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to do. Yeah, it didn't look very good in the beginning, but, like, I did it. And I think they've just seen my whole trajectory of like ups and downs. And now they come home and I've got the three cameras, I've got the lights and recording this and I'm editing, and they've seen me do all of that.

37:38

Like I think it's a very powerful model for like, go do something you want to do. That might seem scary, that you have no idea how to do it, but everything at some point is learnable. Like, if there's a will, there's a way, and if you really want to do it, especially in today's world, everything's online. Like I've watched YouTube videos. I've, you know, done seminars I've done, like all of these things to learn, because it's just so much better if you know how to do it than being somebody, absolutely.

38:05 - Paige Nolan (Host)

So what role do you feel like that determination, or let's call it intention, has played in your career path?

38:15 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I think it's very valuable to see the promised land.

38:18

Do you know what I mean, and not worry about how you're going to get there. Like I think, when I was sort of in this nine to five grind and my husband, I saw him working from home and he would have these, we'd have these. You know Sunday morning chats over coffee, looking at these beautiful French real estate magazines, dreaming about wouldn't it be great if we could live, live six months there and six months here. And part of your brain that wants to figure it all out automatically shuts that idea down because they're like how am I going to do that? No, and I can't do that. And then you just sort of get into this spiral downward of like despair and, oh, this is going to work.

38:57

But I think if you can keep your eye on the prize and be like, yeah, how could we do that? Then you just start to back it up and you start to say, okay, if I got 50,000 subscribers on this YouTube channel, in another year could I get a hundred? And if I keep adding that every year, what does that look like 10 years from now? You know, like you have to be willing, I think, to do the long, hard, deep work If you want to get to the promised land, because promised land and this is an expression that I am very fond of saying, which is, if trailblazing was easy, the road would be paved yeah it's not.

39:33

You got to bushwhack your way, and so if you want something bad enough and it's something that's new to you that you don't feel like you have the confidence to do it, don't think you have to do it all overnight, like you're going to do a little part of it every day. And if you're, if you can rest your head on the pillow at night and think I learned how to do X and that's going to help me with Y, then you're moving yourself forward.

39:54 - Paige Nolan (Host)

You know, I think that's so important for young people to hear too, and for us to reveal that and really instill that belief or talk about that belief or that reality with the children and young adults that are around us now. Because there's this it's misleading when you go on to social media and you see an entrepreneur or you know a small business, like all of a sudden they're doing really well, or you know this person's book is a bestseller, but there were three other self published books before that book hit the shelf and became the best you know.

40:28

And so I think, with social media and these quick sound bites and little videos and promotional tools and marketing things that we do, it's really easy to get the idea that it happened faster than it really happened. And in our culture where everything is like door, dash it, record it, we can watch it when we want it. We don't have to sit through a commercial.

40:50 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Amazon Prime.

40:50 - Paige Nolan (Host)

We don't have to walk across the room to reference an encyclopedia. We can just ask our smartphone. You know whatever information we need to know.

41:02 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Yes, I mean, we live in this life of immediacy and we think that everything should be immediate. Apply it even to our own personal growth, our own professional growth, and I think a lot of people also think success looks like this Like it looks like a steady incline, when it doesn't. It looks more like this it looks like one of those like EKG things where you're going up and down and up and down.

41:23 - Paige Nolan (Host)

That says you're alive.

41:24 - Beth LeManach (Host)

And you know that says yeah, exactly yeah. It's a good metaphor, you know, Because it's true, like it does not happen overnight and sometimes you have, like failures and setbacks, but you learn something valuable and so that when you come back to it it's stronger in a way, or it helps you do something that you didn't know how to do before.

41:42

So all those failures like they're not for naught, like they're not useless time, like there's no such thing as wasted time or wasted experience. If you've learned something from it and it might just be don't trust a startup who says they're gonna do something for you.

41:56

Like that was a big thing for me. I had a subscription box for a few years and it was a startup and I had like 800 people signed up for this thing every month. I was putting myself out there promoting it and then they just went out of business and I had like 800 people left online and at the time it just felt like a huge failure. But when I look at it now I realized that like I shouldn't have trust a company that didn't have a track record doing what they said they were gonna do and that was a startup. So now I get a lot of people pitching me on things that are startups and I was like great circle back in a year. I'd love to see you know how it's gone and not saying yes too quickly to things.

42:33 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Do you have a method for tracking those lessons or is it more just your own reflection? Do you share with Philippe, or do you have another colleague or partner, or do you just feel like you naturally retain what you've learned?

42:48 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I think naturally retain.

42:49 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, through the experience.

42:51 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I think, through the experience, and then I think you get that sort of that. You get that sort of post traumatic stress when something comes to your life that feels very similar and you're like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, right, right, your body, you know it's sort of like the burn.

43:05

Your body knows that feeling of being burned once that you're like no this doesn't feel right and I think that also is a great thing that comes with age is knowing to listen more to when things don't feel right. I think the younger we are, the more apt we want to please people. We want opportunity. We're willing to take bigger risks and swing bigger, and sometimes that's good, but sometimes a little reflection, and sometimes it's as simple as you know what. Let me take a beat, Can I get back to you tomorrow? Or let me just think about it Like I think that is something I've learned to do in my older years, where my the younger me was not saying that much, it was more like jumping into things like oh well, I love the way you frame that, because it's actually a form of intelligence, it's a, it's like a wiser, you know it's, I think there's so much, at least in my line of work.

43:56 - Paige Nolan (Host)

There's so many barriers to getting started because of age. You know where you think. Well, I didn't. I'm doing a career pivot and I have all of this experience over here in this field and now I want to pivot and go in this field and it's terrifying you know, and I and so it's easy to get into your head about that you're not prepared. You're not ready, you don't have the you don't have the smarts.

44:20

You're not as quick, you know, as you used to be, but how you're framing it is actually that it could be an asset to you that you have the ability to pause the wisdom, the wisdom, the self-knowledge to say well, I can bring this level of reflection to my decision making and save myself time and making better decisions. Maybe not as many quick, you know you're not jumping in as fast, but you're certainly making very sound decisions based on experience.

44:50 - Beth LeManach (Host)

It's so true because we've been on the planet longer, so we have all this life experience that actually helps us. And you know, yeah, I did this later in life, like I was 40 when I decided to have this YouTube channel in a like industry.

45:05

That's very young, yeah, yeah you know like I was doing it, when all it was was like these you know makeup beauty gurus in their 20s and 19,. 18 year old girls doing these makeup tutorials. And then, here I come along, this 40 year old mom like, oh, I'm going to share some recipes, but the thing that I learned, you know what?

45:21 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I mean, but the thing that I learned about.

45:23 - Beth LeManach (Host)

It is like I thought I was sharing recipes to other moms but, like at that time, there weren't a lot of moms on the platform at my age. But what I didn't realize is it was appealing to this younger generation that saw me as like a friendly aunt or the mom they didn't have.

45:40 - Paige Nolan (Host)

A cool older sister.

45:41 - Beth LeManach (Host)

You know I would get these the cool older sister of like who's gone before, and that was something I totally didn't anticipate. So sometimes, like if you talk yourself out of something because you think you're too old for it, you don't know what that age is going to actually reflect back to someone else. That's going to be seen as an asset and I think that's you know. You don't know until you try. It's that old adage like if you don't try, you've already failed, so you might as well try.

46:06 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Well, you talked to us about the the upside and the downside of making something you love, whether that's a hobby, whether you, whether someone listening is thinking a hobby, or sometimes the word passion comes to people's mind like how you make a passion your full-time thing, and Boyd and I have talked about this. You know I'm coming off of episode one where I talked to Boyd about music and creativity and he has chosen to do music for fun in so many ways in his life and he also does it professionally. And that's the same, my same. I have the same relationship with writing, like I would be writing anyway, and I do it professionally.

46:45

We both have this stance that you can do that. I know you have the stance that you can do that because you're doing it, but tell me more about your experience coming to that and if you have for someone listening who's struggling with that, like, do I want to make my hobby slash passion my real thing.

47:04 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I know it's really hard and you do get burnt out from the passion if you're working too much at it. I think, like in my brain it's sort of like two different sides of me. It's like, if I am cooking so much because I'm testing recipes, I'm testing recipes all the time and I'm cooking for work. It feels like cooking for expertise, like making sure that I'm cooking in a way that people can follow the recipe, that I've taken account to every little step, and sometimes I'll be cooking and developing recipes that I'll then feed my family. It's like, oh, I have to test this recipe I might just feed them.

47:37

But that's me being expert, beth, and it's not being like tourist. Sometimes you need to be a tourist, meaning like pick up someone else's recipe from a cookbook and make that for fun, or go eat out at a restaurant or travel or go to a farmer's market, not because I'm looking for ingredients to test a recipe for spring, but because I just want to see what lights me up that I want to play with, but not for an end result, just for the pleasure of it.

48:05

So I think, like if you do make your passion your business, it's important not to lose the passion part of it or you'll start to resent the passion because it'll take over the business Like it'll it'll sort of you'll sort of lose the passion part and when I feel like I'm doing too much and I'm getting burnt out, I just need to go cook for fun or go to a restaurant and be inspired or travel, you know, to make sure that you're being that tourist in whatever the passion is.

48:30

So if it's like fashion styling, if you're doing that and you're doing it for a business, go shopping just for yourself, not for a client like go look through you know magazines or things that just reconnect you with the passion as a fun pastime and not as a work thing that needs to get done?

48:46 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yes, yeah. Will you tell us about the cookbook deal and was that something that is like a bucket list thing? Was that a dream of yours that I know this is on the horizon, so I think is it okay that I'm asked? Is it?

49:00 - Beth LeManach (Host)

yes, of course, yes yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's good. I had something I always wanted to do, but something I was always really afraid of because it is so much work that.

49:09

I just kept thinking how am I going to do this with everything else that I'm already doing? And I years ago found an agent who said well, let me see a proposal. So a lot of cookbooks, you have to have a proposal and that's a whole other lot of work. And I think that the agents do it to see like if she can put together a proposal which is a ton of work, then she can actually do a book which is a ton of work. So it's kind of like that first, like little entry point, that sort of want to see. So I put the 75 page proposal.

49:36

I worked on it for months, I tested a bunch of recipes and I submitted to her and she says, okay, great, and then the pandemic hit. It was like I submitted in February and the pandemic hit in March and she's like this is not the time to shop a proposal. So we just sat on it and then, you know, we had like three crazy years and I really was like there's no way I can even think about this, because I was learning the photography and learning the editing and like doing all of this stuff to keep my business afloat because I didn't have the crew anymore. That I just sort of forgot about it. And then I think the idea wasn't right and the agent was sort of like I don't really think this is the idea. So then I was like you know what I love this idea, I want to do it. I just think I'm going to look into self publishing, yeah. So I went down that road and then I came out thinking you know what, if I'm going to work this hard, I want a really great publisher.

50:22 - Paige Nolan (Host)

That's going to make a really great book.

50:25 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I don't want to do something that self published. That's going to look, not yeah.

50:29 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I get that. I just wasn't feeling like you know people, you know who are putting, yeah that who are pursuing book projects, and I think it sounds like for your particular project, having a publisher is a good match it was a good match and I think because there's so much photography involved in it and I just thought this does not, this isn't something I want to try to do myself.

50:51 - Beth LeManach (Host)

So then I did another proposal, a totally different idea, and sent it to the to the agent and she was like I love this idea, this is great. And then we shopped it around and then there was a publisher that was interested and I was in France at the time and I did like a Skype with this editor and I just loved her yes, I knew she got what I wanted to do.

51:09

She understood me, which is important, where I was coming from. She understood the audience and, yeah, and she's green lit it, and isn't that interesting.

51:18 - Paige Nolan (Host)

The timing of things you know. You mentioned earlier the depth of knowledge. You know, having those three years and really grappling with your idea and going deeper into it and testing recipes and understanding the, the particular angle that you're going to have or how you're going to get into it, you know, I think it's I get frustrated with time. It's one of my big.

51:37 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I feel like I'm in a wrestling match with time sometimes, yeah, but when I can surrender and trust that the timing all unfolds in a way that invites you into this depth of understanding and connection to whatever it is you're offering, that it's really beautifully timed if you can just trust it it is, and I think I'm a different person now, like I've matured and grown in the craft to know that, like the book that I'm doing, which the title it's sort of a working title, but hopefully it'll be something similar which is entertaining 101, 101 recipes that everybody should know how to make gosh, can I?

52:15

have a pretty copy of that book.

52:16 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, that's me that you can do an intervention. I am 101. Exactly.

52:23 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well, that's what I, that's where my heart really is with all of this, and it always has been, is the beginner.

52:27

Because that was me, you know, newly married, got the stuff on my bridal registry, didn't know what to do with it, wanted to have nice parties but needed it to be easy. And I just my heart always goes out to the beginner because I think that food and cooking for people and having these rituals and it's just add so much to your life that I just thought I wanted my first book to really target that group of people, because I think once you host your first Thanksgiving and it's a success it does turn you into a cook for a life. It's sort of that entry point. It's either the Thanksgiving, the Christmas, a baby shower for a friend. There's always this one point where you're like, well, that wasn't so bad. And when you see how everybody reacts and they're so excited and you know they appreciate it, it just makes you feel that it's just that sincerest form of love.

53:17

When you cook for somebody, and I think that's what keeps you doing it.

53:21 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I'm curious about that heart that you just described, the sincerity, the intention that you bring together. It's so clear why cooking and gathering and entertaining matters to you and it's so clear when we've all experienced a really intentional gathering why it matters to all of us. You know it's so special. Talk to us and the listener who has a different circumstance this year. You know you and I are having this conversation around the holidays.

53:52

I have people who I know are listening, whose parents have sold their the home that they've lived in for 30 years because they've had to downsize or move into a different type of living situation. I know people are listening who are separated or divorced for the first time. I know many people have lost some loved one this year who would be at the table and you know in your experience personal experience, but also I know you have this community around you, this very devoted group, who have really interacted with your recipes and interacted with the way that you're guiding us to entertain. What can we do to you know, speak to that or honor the change this year, when it is a different type of gathering?

54:35 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I know Well. I think as humans we love ritual, we love tradition, and I think the holidays become even more meaningful the more traditions we put into them. But the hard part is when we lose somebody, and I lost my brother two years ago. My younger brother, who was 48, died of heart attack. Suddenly had two children that he left behind was always so much a part of our holidays that it was hard Like that first holiday of such a huge change is so hard that I think all those traditions that we spent years doing when they're not there, it feels even worse because you feel the loss even more, that I think the thing to do is to come up with new traditions.

55:17

I think it's very hard to try to do the same traditions and feel the loss of that person so immensely like because it's such a gaping hole. So, and it was something that I really appreciated about my sister-in-law she used to live in LA but she said you know what? I cannot come to LA for Christmas because that was the Christmas that Joe and I had my brother. Those were our Christmases, and now that he's not here and she's moved to Hawaii, she's like our Christmases are going to be different. They're going to be at the beach in Hawaii. So she's sort of rebuilding her life in a new way, not getting rid of tradition but making new traditions, and to me that felt very healthy. And so for us my brother would come over in the morning on Christmas morning and we would have him and his wife play with the girls, we'd do a big breakfast and then we'd have a Christmas dinner. But he's not here anymore, so instead, like we started doing the Christmas thing earlier. It's more of a Christmas lunch and it feels different.

56:16

And I think a great way to honor people who've passed is to cook their favorite foods and I just make some feel like they have a seat at the table. So my brother loved cannolis and so every Easter he's not here anymore, but I always make cannolis for dessert and it's something we all laugh about, like, oh Joe would eat this whole platter, He'd love them, and it just feels like there's a part of them that's there, you know. Oh, I love that.

56:39

And I think it just speaks to the nature of life, which is it's constantly changing. And it's really hard when we approach the holidays, because the holidays are all about making things the same. We always do this. We always watch Hallmark with our hot cocoa, we always do Christmas breakfast together, because it's the thing that kind of keeps us excited for the holidays, but that doesn't mean that we always do. X can't change, like it can be a new X. Yes, you can still always say you're going to do it, but be open to doing it differently, because I think that there's a lot of beauty in that and there can be a lot of new traditions that you might like even better, because you're a different person with change, absolutely.

57:19

And that might just speak to your who you are at that point.

57:22 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Will you just give us some words of guidance and inspiration for the beginners on the line like me? When you go to entertain and you are, I do not consider myself a gifted entertainer.

57:37

I do consider myself an intentional gatherer. I love having an intention, but I mean I have women around me and men. I mean even Boyd has this level of entertaining that he's so tuned into details and he loves looking and he loves having a signature cocktail. So it's not a man-woman thing, it's just an individual person thing. What is one of the things that you feel like is a low hanging fruit that really adds meaning and purpose and heart to a gathering.

58:08 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Oh yeah, that's a good one, I would say, really consider the setting and the surrounding. I think everybody it's that old-fashioned people won't remember what you serve them, but they'll remember how you made them feel. So if you decide you want to have an outdoor barbecue, put a tablecloth on, get some flowers, create some candlelight, create a mood. I think people, when they come to someone's house, or if they're coming to my house, I always want them to feel they've been transported in a way where they can really relax, because I think the real basic part of entertaining is to make people feel comfortable. And if they arrive and it's hot and there's nothing to drink or they don't know where to sit, they don't know where to put their purse, they're automatically going to feel a little uncomfortable and then they're not going to be talking with the other guests. If you're stuck in the kitchen, they don't feel comfortable. So what is the environment that is going to be so conducive to putting somebody at ease and feeling relaxed? Then you're halfway there.

59:12 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, I love that. While you were talking, about the memory my mom is. I do consider my mom a masterful entertainer and she would always incorporate some sort of foliage or nature from our own yard.

59:25 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I loved that I have memories of.

59:28 - Paige Nolan (Host)

She would have a little shiny Magnolia leaf and I would get to you whenever liquid paper the white and paint the people's names with the little brush growing up.

59:38 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Oh, that's so cute I love it.

59:42 - Paige Nolan (Host)

I love having a table setting. I think she would always do that.

59:48 - Beth LeManach (Host)

I'm a big believer in that because if you're over I would say if you're over six people, it just again makes people feel comfortable. There's none of that awkward musical chairs that happens and people don't know where to sit. And then if you leave it up to chance, you get what you deserve. Because at that point if you don't have people that are going to speak, well, and you have two interviewverts together and they can't really keep the conversation going, that just has to be thought out. I like to put introverts next to extroverts, with people who are more engaging in the center of the table rather than the ends of the table, so that they're not like, so that everybody is sort of integrated. And I think if you think that through everybody's just going to have a better time.

01:00:29 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yes, I love it. When will the cookbook come out? Summer 2020. We have a little bit of a wait.

01:00:38 - Beth LeManach (Host)

We have a little oh yes, and luckily, because I'm still like in the beginning stages of testing the recipes, and then we'll photograph everything in May and then it takes a full year just to produce it, to print it.

01:00:51 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Once my job is done, then there's like the production part of it, so it takes two years Well you're learning and you're going to save all of this knowledge if you decide to do a second cookbook, you're going to apply all of your lessons.

01:01:05 - Beth LeManach (Host)

One thing that might be helpful for people. There's always the naysayers, especially when you are doing something new. I think when you do something new, especially later in life, there will always be someone who will want to talk you out of it.

01:01:21

And I think they do it from a place of they're trying to be helpful. They're looking out for your best interest, but nobody knows your best interest better than you, and if there is a burning desire to go out and do something, the vision that I have always had in my mind is that scene from the Wizard of Oz when Glinda the good, glinda Glinda the good witch is there with Dorothy and the wicked witch of the East comes and she's like I'm going to put a hex on you or whatever she says, and Glinda says be gone, you have no power here.

01:01:50

And that is the mental image that I always have. When people are saying you can't go right to cookbook, you can't go do your YouTube channel, it's like be gone, you have no power. So like if you don't let people, if you don't give people the power to change your mind, you can just block them out. Like I just think having that singular focus of this is what I want to do and this is how I'm going to do it. And to keep your eye on the prize. You just whatever the image is to allow you to not listen to those people because they don't know what's inside your heart or what you're actually capable of. Like you're the only person who knows what you're actually capable of and then it's your job to prove them wrong.

01:02:28 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Because success is the best revenge. Yes, and what I love that you said about that is that it's in your heart. I know that reconnecting with something that makes your heart sing is something that you stand for. I think that's really your life experience and how you've chosen to spend your time, what you've given your attention to. It's all around this very aligned, heart-based joy. You really enjoy what you do and I think that can be so centering for people and that can be the foundation upon which the confidence is built is like does this feel good? Is this natural to me?

01:03:06

Is this who I am. Is this what I would? Be doing anyway, and I think your life affects that.

01:03:13 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well, I think that's where the vulnerability comes in, because it's so heart-centered, it's so vulnerable. So it's like this thing means so much to me and I'm going to now put myself out there and see if other people connect with it. The fear is is if they don't. You've given so much of yourself, you've revealed so much, and I do that a lot with the vlogs, where it's like, okay, this is how I entertain, these are the things that I love about my garden, or the things that I love about our trips to France. Like all of that is so personal that if it's rejected in any way, it does sting. But the percentage of people who don't connect with that what the percentage of people who do that? You're actually seeing. You're improving people's lives by giving them this advice or showing them how to do this for themselves. That is so much more worth any other Many of the states.

01:04:00 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, so you know. It goes back to the one listener. The one listener, the one person cooking your recipe, the one person reading your blog. I always remind myself it's not for everybody. It's for the one person who hears something that feels less alone. It is.

01:04:16 - Beth LeManach (Host)

It is. And that's where I think, when you can align passion with purpose and service, that's like the Holy Grail, because you're showing something that you love, not just to show it, and then that becomes more of an ego play, but as a way to be of service to other people, that that is then going to help them. That's when your passion gives purpose. And I think when you have purpose in your life, there's meaning, and when you have meaning you feel more accomplished. And then I think that's the best way to get away from the imposter syndrome, because you know you're helping people. Yes, and people who are helping people are not imposters, because there's actually a result at the end of it.

01:04:54 - Paige Nolan (Host)

Yeah, absolutely yeah, and authenticity, that's the gift, and I feel that, from what you put into the world, I'm so glad that you've shared so much of how you've built that with us and how you approach it, because that's my hope. I mean it's personally selfishly, I love talking about that and I'm so grateful for this time with you, but I also feel like for somebody listening, you know, to just have a representation of that in the world, of someone being authentic and bringing their heart to something that they love, is kind of an aspiration for all of us.

01:05:27 - Beth LeManach (Host)

Well thanks. Kameesh. Well, I'm very inspired by what you do too, so it's a mutual admiration society.

01:05:33 - Paige Nolan (Host)

It is Water Avenue facebook.